


To The Marrow Part 1

by Dacelin



Series: To The Marrow [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Handplates (Undertale), Dreamsharing, Gen, Subject One (Sans), Subject Two (Papyrus), True Lab (Undertale), Unethical Experimentation, ukagaka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-18 00:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dacelin/pseuds/Dacelin
Summary: It seemed easy - just create a few test subjects in a lab and do whatever was necessary to bring down the barrier. But when a human threatened the brothers, suddenly they stopped seeming like subjects...An Alternative Timeline of Zarla's Handplates in which the interference of the Ukagaka Human causes Gaster to reassess his priorities.





	1. Fallen Down

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Relocation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310633) by [yamina_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamina_chan/pseuds/yamina_chan). 
  * Inspired by [Handplates](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/452801) by Zarla. 



> An alternative timeline of Zarla's Handplates in which the interference of the human from the Ukagaka causes Gaster to reassess his priorities. This picks up near the end of yamina_chan's "Relocation" and continues with Gaster's confrontation with the human turning out better for him.
> 
> Quick summary of backstory: Long ago, humans and monsters fought a war. The monsters were sealed underground behind a barrier which would take seven human souls to break. Occasionally a human would appear and be killed by the king. Royal scientist, Dr. Gaster, decided to find an alternative. To gain research subjects, he mutilated his body and created two children with the intent of torturing them. Before he could start, he was abducted by a human with the power to draw him through time and space. The human informed him they intended to kill him and keep the kids. Gaster hid the children and tried to find a way to block the human, but he was taken again while still working…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seemed easy - just create a few test subjects in a lab and do whatever was necessary to bring down the barrier. But when a human threatened the brothers, suddenly they stopped seeming like subjects...

He was falling.

It was a terrible thing, the certainty of more pain. He'd fallen so much lately. But there was a flicker of triumph before his face smashed into the floor, shattering what was left of his nostril bones. Because this floor was his. His lab. He'd done it. He'd escaped.

He lay there, his bones screaming in agony over the abuse they'd been put through. Blackness swam before his eyes, threatening to drown him. He forced it back with what little remained of his rational thought. Couldn't pass out... too much to do... phone...

It took a count of ten, then another count, before he could gather his one working arm under him and stagger to his feet. He swayed, stumbling into a thankfully nearby wall. Leaning against it, he pawed through his coat.

Phone... yes... what did he need to...? Ah! He canceled the auto-send message. Time to spare. How long had he... he read the date three times before it registered. Two days. God. No sleep, no food, regular intervals of physical abuse... it would break anyone.

_"All you've ever done is make people miserable."_

_"You deserve everything I'm doing to you."_

_"You should have died with the rest of your family."_

He slumped, the weight crashing down and bringing him to the floor.

He could just lie here. It wouldn't take long...

...But them. He had to... had to get to them...

He dragged himself to his feet. It took several seconds of dazed shuffling before he could even locate the door. What if someone saw him? It didn't matter. He just had to reach...

Two days before he'd made his desperate preparations. He'd had no time, not enough to test his theory. But the human's threats had forced his hand. He'd had to get the subjects away. If his plan worked, they'd all be safe. If not, at least they...

He'd barely gotten them moved and made his preparations before he was taken. Swept through nothingness to land once more the plaything and captive of the human and their inexplicable power. It wasn't magic. That much he'd gleaned from the trips. Science. Something to do with their computer. Science he could fight. If he could just learn enough before...

It had begun like most other sessions with his torturer. Questions, insults, beatings. They never got tired of hurting him. They were in a sarcastic mood this day - trying to bait him into emotional responses and reprimanding him with their fists when he rose to the bait. He knew it was happening, but this time he played their terrible game, despite the constant outcome. It kept them focused on him. The longer they played with him, the longer before...;

But eventually they let him go. They'd go after the subjects now if pattern held. If his preparations failed it might be hours before he was taken again, or the ch... subjects returned. He'd have more time to prepare the device... but less proof it would work.

He'd barely begun when he was yanked back through the void.

"Where are they?"The human demanded.

He must have smiled because they hit him and once more demanded an answer.

"Where you'll never find them," he replied in triumph.

And the beating began in earnest.

They didn't kill him. They wanted an answer. So long as he didn't give them one, he had some margin of control over the interaction. So long as they didn't punch too hard...

They released him and went searching for the subjects. He had nearly an hour of frantic work (no time for bandaging or food) before they dragged him back. He was held in their power all that night and the next. The human must have slept. He didn't dare close his eyes. Once he'd been careless and they'd gotten his phone. If that happened again, or if they found the device... he worked frantically. It had to be possible to connect to the human computer. To find how they were doing this... to stop them...

They brutalized him intermittently throughout the day. He fell asleep once and was punched awake. They let him go several times as they hunted for the brothers, but never for long. They demanded to see his phone constantly. He showed them the empty cell and braced himself for the consequences of his success.

They were working themselves into a state and he knew he didn't have long. The device was as ready as it would ever be. When they hit him again, he lay immobile, typing buttons and setting it to begin its frantic hack and rewriting of the computer code. If it worked, it would block them from ever taking monsters again. His b... subjects would be safe. Everyone would be safe. Would it get him home? It didn't matter. He just needed time for it to run...

"What have you done?" The human demanded once again. "What did you do to them?" They raised their fist.

"Don't hit me!" He'd meant it to be an act, but he could feel his defenses crumble as he cried out for mercy. "I'll tell you everything."

They hesitated, their arm cocked and ready. "Get up."

He rose unsteadily, quailing beneath their glare. "What do you want to know?"

He thought they'd ask about the subjects... but, no. Their first demand was about his past. How he'd survived the war. How he'd watched his family die and done nothing. How pathetic he'd been to stand by crying for peace while his family was slaughtered. How it was his fault they were dead. How nothing he'd ever done or ever would do would make up for the truth. That he was wretched. That he was the saddest excuse for a skeleton. That all his brash talk about cipher fonts was just to hide his sad inability to communicate. That he should have died. That everyone would have been better off if he had. Or better. If he'd never existed at all.

And he'd told them everything. He'd agreed with their every insult, bent under their every judgement. He'd gone to his knees, shaking and weeping for his feebleness. Their words had overwhelmed his soul, battered what little remained of his emotional barricade. It was worse than every beating. They crushed him.

"Why did you make them?" They'd asked. And he'd told them. And they'd sneered that he thought he could save anyone. That he thought he could be a hero. That he thought his work was worth anything to anyone.

"Where are they?"

"I hid them." The device was beeping its ready command. _A-C-T-I-V-A-T-E_ , he typed. Just a few more seconds...

"Hid them? Where?"

He cringed. They'd hit him when they knew. Probably a fatal blow this time. He had nothing left. "I took them out of the lab to a place you can't reach. Where they'll be safe from you. And they'll be taken far away from there. Where you can't find them." _I hope_ , he whispered in his mind. "You can..." He trembled and closed his eyes. "Do what you want to me. You'll never hurt them."

He waited for the blow. And waited.

"Hurt them?" The human sounded stunned.

But he had no opportunity to wonder. The device beeped its completion. He slammed the ' _HOME_ ' button. It was the opportunity for a witty exit line, but all he could think was, ' _Please work_ '.

And he'd been home. Now... God, was he even going the right way? How much further? He collapsed against a cavern wall, forced himself to rise, and staggered onward. It was getting harder to keep the darkness at bay, getting harder not to be aware his leg was splintered and starting to give. How many ribs... If he could just rest... no! They'd been alone too long. And he'd canceled the message. If he didn't reach them, no one would know. No one would find...

He was at the door. He scrambled and clawed at it. A key. Had he brought a key...? Yes. There! He wrenched open the door.

The subjects were huddled together against the far wall. Hands intertwined, eyes glowing purple. They recognized him, but the glow didn't fade. If anything they looked more distressed. Subject Two stood quickly, eyes riveted on him.

That was what did it. The sudden jerk of his eyes to follow the motion. The blackness slammed down on him. He saw the ground rushing toward him and thought, ' _How nice it looks..._ '

*****

_He was lying in a plain of agony. The pain swirled around him in a kaleidoscope of agonizing colors. But it was all right. Inside his cage. Inside his sanctuary. He didn't feel here. Nothing touched him here._

_But the walls had so many cracks now. Cracks into which words flowed._

_"You're weak and useless."_

_"Have you ever done the right thing in your life"_

_"You deserve everything I'm doing to you."_

_A silhouette moved through the pain. It stumbled blindly, unable to find its way. Then it oriented toward him and broke into a run. And a second silhouette. Two together, running hand in hand. Reaching his cage. Reaching... reaching for him._

_"All you've ever done is make people miserable."_

_"Nobody needs you. Nobody will remember you."_

_The taller of the silhouettes pushed at the bone wall. Fright. Confusion._

_The smaller gripped his brother's hand tighter. Togetherness. Determination._

_The larger figure struck at the wall. He found a crack. He clawed at it._

_"You should have died with the rest of your family."_

_"You should just die."_

_The child clawed relentlessly, his face set and fierce. He wasn't backing down. No wall, no whispers, no pain would keep him from his intended duty. He reached out a hand..._

_...And a hand reached back._

*****

Dr. Gaster awoke to the world on an unfamiliar cave floor, rapidly aware of two sets of palms pressed into his back and the waves of green-glowing healing emanating from them. "Oh, God..." He broke away from their touch and staggered outside, slamming the door behind him. He went to his hands and knees, retching and gasping.

He sat against the door, smoking as fast as he could light a cigarette and starting on the next before the first was burned through. His hands were shaking too hard to grip the lighter. He dropped it so many times it eventually shattered, putting an end to his frantic smoking. He stumbled back into the room.

The subjects had retreated to the far wall again.

"are you okay?"

"DID WE DO SOMETHING WRONG?"

"No..." He sank weakly to the floor. "You... you did fine."

"WE DID GOOD? REALLY?"

"Yes." He panted, trying to catch his breath. Maybe the cigarettes had been a mistake.

Subject Two looked ecstatic. "WE DID A GOOD JOB? WE DID IT RIGHT? WE CAN DO MORE!" He started forward, his hand glowing green.

Gaster held up a weak, restraining hand. "You've done enough... more than... more than enough."

"WERE YOU IN THE BAD PLACE?"

"...Yes." Gaster's eyes sank closed. He leaned back against the wall.

"YOU SHOULDN'T GO THERE. YOU KEEP GETTING HURT."

"If... if calculations are correct, none of us should be going there again."

"can we leave now? it's boring here."

"Not yet... We have to... it has to be later."

"ARE YOU HUNGRY? WE STILL HAVE FOOD. DO YOU WANT SOME?"

Subject Two leaped gleefully into the role of host. He brought out what was left of the food in the box, dividing it between the three. There wasn't much. It would have been a poor meal for two, and certainly wouldn't satisfy three. Subject Two immediately surrendered his portion, but Gaster and Subject One pushed it back.

Rations eliminated, Gaster mumbled a weak warning for the boys to stay inside, then slumped back into darkness.

*****

When he awoke, it was to a feeling of warmth and weight. He opened his eyes, taking stock in a disoriented way.

The subjects were asleep together against the far wall, intertwined in their usual manner. Someone had draped the blanket around him. He wondered how they'd known to do that.

He studied the floor, not ready to move.

Was it over? He'd broken the human's grip... but would it stay broken? Would they take him the moment he left this room?

" _You're weak and useless._ "

It was true. He should be planning new preventative measures, or preparing to resume the experiment. But all he could think was that he didn't want to be beaten again. He'd do anything to avoid that. Except...

He looked at his sleeping subjects. Peaceful. Safe here. And they'd stay that way. Whatever it cost him, no matter what, they would be safe. No one would ever hurt... _Oh, God_.

He almost started retching again. The certainty had come unbidden, but close on its heels came the knowledge of what it meant.

Two images swam before his eyes. The king he loved. The king who had saved him in the war. Who had brought him here. Who had supported him, encouraged him... loved him? Who deserved... who deserved the best. After everything. The queen... the children... no more suffering. No more pain. He couldn't be asked to... not when someone else could take that burden.

But then... there was the other image. Two bright-eyed skeleton chi... subjects. His... subjects. Naïve. Eager to please. Innocent of all wrongdoing. Innocent of the future created for them. He felt now what he didn't want to feel. Seeing them move for the first time. Their glowing green eyes the first time they'd come together. The joyful rattling. Teaching. Learning. Games... The desperate agony when they'd disappeared. The terror of injury when they'd returned. He'd risked all to keep them safe, and... God, they'd just saved his life.

And he was going to...

" _Have you ever done the right thing in your life?_ "

Choices swam before him. He couldn't... couldn't... Asgore had to come first. It had to be Asgore. Nothing could deter that. He had to stay determined. This was why they'd been created. He couldn't...

...He couldn't.

" _You should just die_ "

He bowed his head.

It would take a little while to plan. He'd have to make sure the human was gone for good. And teach the boy... subjects how to communicate. And he';d have to plan how to do it. The core maybe. Or a lab explosion. Something that would look like an accident. Asgore would have to know the truth, of course. But... he'd understand. Once he knew... once he knew what sort of monster Gaster really was. The bro... subjects would forget about him. They were young. They'd have a better life. Alphys was the only one who might be hurt.

He rose and began putting the scattered things back in the box.

The noise awoke Subject Two, who untangled himself from his brother and immediately began to assist with the clean-up efforts. Subject One awoke slowly, blinking and dazed. He didn't join, having too much difficulty just becoming alert enough to move.

Gaster retrieved the rain capes and dressed the pair. The subjects stood for the process without a murmur. The rain capes meant outside and they were eager to be out of this room.

"WHERE ARE WE GOING? ARE WE GOING SOMEWHERE NEW?"

"No. We'll go back to the lab."

"WHAT'S A LAB?"

"Home."

"what's home?"

"Inside."

"OH. HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL US ALL THOSE OTHER NAMES FOR INSIDE BEFORE?"

"They mean different things in different context. No more talking. Come.";

He hefted the box and started the long walk home.

It didn't occur to him he'd not tethered their souls until Subject Two went trotting past him to get a better look at a trickle of water running from a crack in the wall. "WHAT'S THAT?"

"No talking." He tried to reach for the soul, but his magic fell short. He was far too drained for even the smallest effort.

He looked back. Subject One was lagging, less out of weariness and more out of curiosity. When he saw the doctor's attention was on him, Subject One made an effort to catch up and stayed relatively near for the rest of the walk. Reining Subject Two back was the harder process.

Eventually, they entered the lab.

"DOES ALL OUTSIDE LOOK LIKE THAT?" Subject Two wanted to know.

"No... It varies," Gaster rumbled wearily. He wasn't in the mood for questions, but getting the subjects to shut up was sometimes harder than just answering them.

"WILL WE GO OUTSIDE MORE? CAN WE SEE OTHER PARTS? WHAT DO THE OTHER PARTS LOOK LIKE?"

"That's enough. Quiet." He realized too late he'd walked all the way to the kitchen without stopping to lock up the subjects. No point doubling back. He unlocked the door.

"WHAT'S THIS ROOM?"

"It's called a kitchen."

"WHAT'S IT FOR?"

"It's where food comes from."

"REALLY? WHAT'S THAT? IS THERE FOOD IN THERE?"

"Stop." Gaster's tone halted Subject Two before he could figure out how to open the refrigerator. "Go sit at the table. Both of you. And be quiet."

He had nearly a full minute's peace before a clinking noise attracted his attention. He glanced at the boys.

Subject One was in the process of emptying the rain cape's pocket onto the tabletop. He hunched possessively over his finds as Gaster loomed over him.

"Let me see," Gaster ordered.

Reluctantly, Subject One leaned away.

On the tabletop were the discoveries of their brief exploration of the outside world. Subject One had collected several rocks, a piece of crystal, a chunk of moss, and a gold coin.

"Anything else?" Gaster demanded.

Subject One shook his head.

Gaster removed the rain capes, checking the pockets as he did. He slung the capes over a chair and resumed making dinner, leaving the boys to study the outside things.

Shortly, he joined them at the table, setting a plate before each of them.

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD MAKE FOOD."

"It's called cooking."

"IT LOOKS FUN. CAN WE TRY?"

"Not tonight." Gaster tried to concentrate on the meal.

"CAN WE GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW?"

"No."

"WHEN CAN WE GO OUTSIDE?"

"Don't ask me that again."

A brief stretch of silence. "IF YOU GO TO THE BAD PLACE AGAIN, WILL WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT OUTSIDE ROOM?"

"Be quiet and eat your dinner."

"BUT..."

"If I have to tell you again, you're going back to your cell without eating."

Subject One looked anxiously between his brother and the doctor. "what's this?" he asked, nudging the crystal toward Gaster.

That did seem like the safer option than snapping at Subject Two, who was starting to tear up. "It's a crystal." Gaster launched into a description of crystals and their properties.

They went through all the objects, with the boys most intrigued by the moss and the coin. The idea of something growing out of the floor was just as baffling as someone paying someone to perform an action. The lesson lasted through dinner and a short time after until Gaster declared it time for them to go to their cell. He picked up the box and the capes, hauling them along as they headed for the cell.

Subject One entered the cell and sat down, his new collection of outside things spread in his lap.

Subject Two hovered at the door. "ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU BETTER NOW? WE CAN DO THE GLOWY THING AGAIN."

Gaster shook his head. "I've had all the healing I need. Go inside."

Subject Two crossed the threshold reluctantly. "YOU WON'T GO BACK TO THE BAD PLACE AGAIN, WILL YOU?"

"No. That... that should be over and done with now."

"CAUSE IF YOU DO..." Subject Two crept back to his side. "WE COULD GO WITH YOU. AND HELP YOU."

"No. You'll never go there. I'll make sure of it. Here." He pulled the blanket out of the box and handed it to Subject Two. "In case... you might need it."

Subject Two's eyes flitted to the box. "CAN WE HAVE THE PUZZLE THINGS TOO?"

Gaster started to say no, but... "You may each have one."

Subject Two dove eagerly into the box, taking a minute to choose his favorite. "BROTHER! WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?"

"i don't care."

"YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE! HE SAID SO!"

"you pick."

"BROTHER!"

Subject One shrugged indifferently and remained on the floor.

With an irritated sigh, Subject Two scrutinized the choices. "YOU LIKED THIS ONE. IS THIS ONE GOOD?"

Subject One shrugged without looking up from the rocks. "yeah."

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT!" Subject Two stormed toward his brother.

Gaster took advantage of the distraction to close the beams and make his escape.

*****

Gaster awoke in his office, having fallen asleep in his chair, and moved from there to the floor. The subjects had probably had a more comfortable night, he reflected.

He checked them in the monitor. They were awake and playing a new game of "discovering things" in which one would hide the objects around the cell, and the other would locate them and parrot Gaster's lecture regarding their properties upon finding each. They seemed content, so Gaster took his time cleaning up and making coffee before feeding them.

"WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY?" Subject Two demanded. "ARE WE GOING OU-" He clapped his hands over his mouth.

"You are going to have a series of very thorough examinations."

"like when we go to the place with the human and then you look real hard at our heads for crack?"

"...Yes. Like that."

Gaster ran them through a rigorous round of physical tests - senses, reflexes, endurance, and the like. He'd do a few, then let them play and sleep for an hour or so while he did other work, and then the tests would resume. The subjects remained compliant throughout the process, being well-accustomed to exams, and generally happy to not be stuck in their cell.

Gaster tried not to feel overwhelmed by the volume of other work which had piled up during his absence, not to mention the past few weeks in which hiding his injuries and finding a solution to his troubles had been his only aims. Alphys and Asgore had called him repeatedly without him answering. He couldn't think what to tell them.

The final exam required a bone chip from each subject for analysis. If they were going to be out of his care soon, he had to know they were as healthy as possible. Neither had had such a procedure performed before.

Subject Two was reluctant to climb onto the exam table and have his head strapped down. "WILL IT HURT?"

"Yes."

"I DON'T WANT IT TO HURT."

"That's inevitable."

"WHAT'S-"

"It means it's going to happen, it's going to hurt and the sooner you do as you're told and stop whining, the sooner it will be over."

Subject Two started to cry.

Subject One, his arms around his brother's waist, glared at Gaster.

Gaster rubbed his eyes. Why couldn't anything ever be simple with these two? "The secondary reason for this test in to gauge your emerging healing talents."

"HU?"

Subject One caught on faster. "you're gonna cut holes in our heads to see if we can fix 'em?"

"I am going to take a sliver, not cut a hole. It will cause no permanent damage, nor be more than a minor injury. You will attempt to heal Subject Two immediately after the procedure, thus rendering this who debate utterly unnecessary."

"you could have started with that."

"BROTHER WILL MAKE IT NOT HURT?"

"I just said that."

Subject Two was still reluctant, but detached himself from his brother and crawled onto the table.

Gaster strapped down his head and picked up the chisel. "Close your eyes. It'll be over in a moment."

Subject Two gave a little cry of pain, but otherwise held himself obediently rigid. "I-IT HARDLY H-HURT," he insisted around the tremor in his voice.

"can i do it now?" Subject One demanded, standing on his toes to grip the edge of the table.

"One moment..." Gaster slid the fragment into a specimen jar, released Subject Two from the restraints, and collected his clipboard. "Alright. Go ahead."

The children clasped hands and leaned together. Subject Two lowered his head so that it nearly touched Subject One's. A green glow crept up Subject One's arm and into his brother. The divot in Subject Two's head mended itself back together.

As healing talents went, somewhere below average, Gaster decided. Still substantial. _Useful_ , a small voice said before remembering that, no, there wouldn't be opportunity for it to be in any way useful.

"THANK YOU, BROTHER!" Subject Two slid off the table and embraced his brother. "IT DOESN'T HURT AT ALL NOW!"

Subject One agreeably bore the enthusiasm.

"NOW IT'S YOUR TURN. YOU LIE DOWN AND I'LL MAKE YOU ALL BETTER." Subject Two gave the smaller skeleton a boost toward the table.

"No." Gaster halted that activity. "Subject One is a little more complicated. Come. Both of you." He started from the room without looking back.

It took a few minutes to get the incubation tube ready to fill. Subject One complained volubly about not wanting to be dunked in the goop. Gaster ignored him. Eventually the boys switched from complaining to seeing if their heads would fit under the workstation.

Preparations complete, Gaster undressed the smaller skeleton and lifted him onto the tube base. The glass cylinder closed around him and the fluid bubbled up from the base, leaving Subject One floating.

Subject Two giggled and began to run a circle around the tube with his brother paddling rapidly to remain facing him.

Gaster took his time with his preparations before interfering. "That's enough." His tone was mild for once. "Subject Two, sit down. Subject One, hold still."

Minutes later, Subject One was rubbing the sore place on his skull and Subject Two was bouncing up and down on the other side of the glass. "MY TURN! MY TURN TO HEAL! I'LL MAKE YOU ALL BETTER!"

"Not yet. He has to spend a little while in the solution until his vitals are suitably stable." Gaster typed, one eye on the subjects. He expected more complaints, but they promptly created a new game in which Subject Two moved his hands in patterns against the glass while Subject One tried to keep pace on the other side with his feet. They actually complained they weren't done with the game yet when he began to drain the tank.

Subject Two healed his brother in an explosive light-show which left all three blinking. "DID I DO IT RIGHT? DID I DO GOOD?"

"You... ah..." Gaster rubbed the spots out of his vision. "That was a touch overkill."

"WHAT'S THAT MEAN?"

"It means, more magic than the situation required." Gaster held up a towel too late as Subject One shook off the goo. He sighed wearily and started to towel the boy off, then hesitated. "You should probably have a bath..."

Who knew what was on them after their foray outside? Not to mention those times the human had whisked them away. Really, he should have scrubbed off the human touches immediately.

He carried Subject One bundled up in the towel to avoid leaving a trail of goo to the bathroom. Subject Two romped along beside them, chattering gleefully about how much he liked healing and how he could take care of them forever now.

Soon the boys were splashing in the tub. Gaster allowed it for a few minutes before corralling them for a thorough scrubbing. Subject Two burrowed affectionately against him with a hopeful grin. Gaster pushed him absently away and continued the washing.

He lifted the pair from the tub and wrapped them in towels. What to dress them in... their gowns needed washing. He had spares, but... "Wait here."

It took him a few minutes to find what he wanted. During his absence, the boys climbed back into the tub and resumed playing. They looked apprehensive upon his return, but Gaster dried them a second time without a word.

"Stand still, Subject Two... these should fit..."

It took some tucking and rolling, but Gaster's old clothes fit the larger boy tolerably well. Subject Two spun around in a circle, trying to look at all angles of himself at once. "I'M WEARING YOU-CLOTHES! THEY FEEL WEIRD!"

Gaster sized up Subject One doubtfully. Even his things which had had a bad experience in the dryer would be too large for the little skeleton. He picked up a clean gown and ordered Subject One to turn around.

"i want you-clothes too!" The boy protested.

"You'll get them after I've hemmed them."

"what's hemmed?"

"It means make the arms and legs shorter."

Subject One was grumpy, but suffered himself to be dressed while Subject Two patted him on the head and assured him they'd match later.

Gaster was just finishing cleaning the bathroom, when Subject Two found a scarf tangled amidst the clothes Gaster had brought with him. "WHAT'S THIS? HOW DO YOU WEAR IT?"

Gaster showed him, and Subject One wanted one too, so he fetched another. Subject One cut a comical sight in a hospital gown and scarf, but it kept them quiet, so why not?

It was getting late, and they'd already had their dinner. It was time to send them to their cell, but Gaster found himself loath to be alone. He brought them back to the workroom and told them to play quietly. Accustom to such orders, the boys curled up in the corner and played with the scarves. Subject One quickly fell asleep. Within the hour, so did Subject Two.

Gaster played catch-up with his work until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. He carried the boys one-by-one to the cell. He arranged them carefully on the bed and tucked the blanket around them. That bed was too small for both of them, not to mention hard. He could probably find a mattress which would fit the ledge. It wouldn't be too much tr... he shuddered and tried to push thoughts of comfort and kindness away.

Just a few days... just make sure the human was gone for good. Then...

He hurried away from the cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time posting here, so I'm a little uncertain if everything will work properly. I'm excited to learn how to use the work skins and things. This story's been around a few months, and it was suggested I post it here, so here it is. 
> 
> Some credits:  
> [Handplates](https://www.deviantart.com/zarla/gallery/57456341/Handplates), by Zarla: A pre-history of Undertale in which the skeleton brothers were created in a lab for experimental purposes, and much torture and misery results. 
> 
> [Gaster Ukagaka](https://www.deviantart.com/zarla/art/Dr-Gaster-Ukagaka-Ghost-717006919), by Zarla: A fun little desktop buddy of everyone's favorite dysfunctional scientist who you can befriend or brutalize - whatever suits your fancy. 
> 
> [Relocation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310633), by [yamina_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamina_chan/pseuds/yamina_chan): A wonderful story in which the Ukagaka human's interference finally gets the brothers out of the lab.  
> Undertale, by Toby Fox: That game which inspired so many to write, draw, dream, and wonder what is going on with DeltaRune.
> 
> This story can also be found on [my deviant account](https://www.deviantart.com/dacelin). That version has some drawings and links to the comics. The drawings might migrate here once I learn what I'm doing.


	2. Amended Karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having decided to halt the experiment, it's time to reveal the subjects and face the consequences. But Subject One may have some different ideas...

Gaster rubbed his eyes as the calculations began to swim in unwelcome patterns. He glanced automatically across the room to see how the subjects were behaving.

The boys were stretched out on the workroom floor, playing their latest game. One would write a message in the standard font, and the other would translate it into Gaster's characters. The game was entirely for Subject Two's benefit. Subject One had grasped the new characters within a day, now reading and writing them with increasing ease. He'd been the one to initiate this game to give his brother practice outside of lessons. Gaster suspected him of taking far longer at the translations than he really needed so Subject Two wouldn't realize how far behind in learning he actually was.

It had been three weeks, and the changes both in the subjects and their surroundings was marked. They were both properly dressed now. Gaster had hemmed their clothes to suitable length, so they no longer trod on too-long pants or caught sleeves on sharp edges. He'd still had to do a little mending until they'd gotten used to wearing more than gowns. They still sported scarves, having become rather attached to the look. They remained barefoot. Finding them shoes without raising questions had proved problematic.

He had moved a mattress into the cell, then promptly threatened to remove it if they didn't stop using it as a trampoline. That was the biggest change. He could justify that they worked better at their lessons if they slept properly. But the night-light crystal, paper, markers, and stuffed rabbit were increasingly difficult to explain away in scientific terms.

It still wasn't much, but the brothers had ways of turning limited resources into a thousand activities. The rocks Subject One had collected had become their most valuable toys. Their durability and varied colors had turned them into tokens for throwing games, treasures for hide-and-seek games, stand-in monsters for imagining games, and more. Every time Gaster looked in on them, they seemed to have invented a new activity to pass the time.

Not that they spent as much time in the cell as they once had. In the days following the return to the lab, Gaster had scrambled to catch up with his mountain of work, spending long hours at his desk, and avoiding leaving the lab for fear someone would ask where he'd been and what had happened. He'd tried to work alone, but isolation had been toxic to him. The tremors came frequently. The episodes of remembering, of terror. It helped to hear voices. It helped to have other souls nearby. So, the subjects had spent an increasing amount of time playing in the workroom while he worked.

He'd taught them as well. If they were going to live elsewhere, they'd need to be able to communicate. He'd shown them the standard characters. Subject One had caught on immediately, growing eager to play the new game when he discovered this would allow him to read some of the books in the lab. Subject Two had been mournful, having enough trouble with one set of letters, and little desire to struggle with another. But his brother had been encouraging, so they'd learned with minimal assistance from Gaster.

He'd taught them some about the underground. The history of the human-monster conflict. How the monsters had come to be underground. The regions and their features. He hadn't told them much on the latter subject, partially because they had no basis for understanding 'snow' and 'fire', and partially because it led to questions he wasn't ready to answer. He'd shut down all questions regarding when they'd be allowed outside again, and the subjects had mostly stopped asking, though he'd listened to them muse about it in their cell.

Being with him more often meant he couldn't turn his phone off when they were present. He'd told them to be absolutely silent while he was speaking on the phone, and he'd only had to punish them once for the lesson to stick. They'd noticed his signing hands and asked for explanation, which had led to the start of sign-language lessons. This was going slower, the boys understandably struggling with a whole new vocabulary, spelling, and verb structure. Gaster had mostly taught them nouns, but they'd started parroting his gestures whenever he was on the phone, so they were learning new signs that way as well.

His interactions with them were changing almost without his notice. He didn't know how it happened. He'd go to their cell in the morning to let them out, only to have them press a rock into his hand and tell him it was 'his turn'. And he might even hesitate while they explained the objective, before remembering he had a schedule to keep and more important things to do than childish throwing game.

He could justify some of what he did. Letting them have the ball and access to the big testing room was to work off some of their boundless energy. Letting them eat in the kitchen saved him from having to clean up their cell, and it gave them practice with utensils. If Subject Two wanted to assist, fine, less work for him. But why he was taking valuable time away from work to show Subject One more advanced math upon the boy's request, or why he'd fixed Subject Two's glasses for the third time after saying the last time was the last time, couldn't be easily explained away.

The first few days back he'd felt too shaky to try magic. He had failed to notice he'd continued to pick up and move the subjects by hand rather than magic until they'd commented on it. He'd resumed blue magic in a hurry, but somehow had found himself shifting back to touching them. It took less effort, he told himself. Just until he recovered...

The boys were touching him back more often. He'd realized too late they were systematically establishing what contact he'd endure and what he couldn't abide. Face and hands were entirely off-limits. Approaching from his blind-side made him edgy. But he was more tolerant of them resting a hand on his arm, or leaning against his leg. He'd shake them off eventually, but it was taking longer to pull away. Sometimes it was hard to remember to do so at all.

Getting work done wasn't easy. The first week back, he couldn't concentrate. He'd start to work, then the tremors would begin. He'd put his head down and shake, fighting back the panic, fighting back the emotions. _Don't feel, don't feel,_ he'd whisper. Inevitably, he'd come out of it to find one or both of the boys standing by his desk glowing their eyes anxiously at him. If it was Subject One, he might give a rattle once he had the doctor's attention, or ask about a math problem. Subject Two tried for contact, or showed him puzzles.

Once he'd started to fall into an episode, only to hear Subject One crying, and he'd had to get up and deal with the quarreling subjects. The next day when he'd started to fall into a stupor, he'd seen Subject Two nudge his brother, and the boy had immediately begun to wail. He'd been cross with them, and they hadn't tried that stunt again, but whenever he reflected back on his days, it was abundantly clear they were watching him for warning signs and doing everything in their power to keep him from spiraling into an episode.

When the episodes passed, he'd find himself drifting in a dull sort of calm from which productivity was possible. Leaving the lab less, spending less time preparing for future experimentation on the subjects, not dreading another beating, freed up his mind enough to get work done. He caught up on some fronts, making no attempt to start new projects. Just finish what he'd left undone. Just do that much...

Getting out of bed had become harder for several days. One morning he'd lain there for hours, unable to find the motivation. Why bother? He wasn't worth anything to anyone. What was the point?

He'd only risen after Alphys' third phone call, and weakly assured her he was just running a little late and would be at the core by afternoon.

The subjects were practically climbing the beams by the time he'd reached the lab. They'd tackled him, and it had taken a heavy dose of blue magic to keep them from piling on him as they sobbed frantically that they thought he'd been in the bad place again. Despite his irritable assurances to the contrary, they'd refused to leave the cell or get on with the day until he'd suffered Subject Two to examine him thoroughly for cracks, and made a half-promise response to Subject One's insistence that, ' _If they couldn't play hiding games, neither could he_.'

He hadn't been late again. It was obviously too traumatizing to their development.

At first he'd told himself he was keeping the subjects just until he was sure the human wouldn't take them again. Then that they needed better communication skills. Give Subject Two time to get used to wearing glasses. And the analysis of the bone fragments hadn't been great for Subject One. He'd increased their calcium intake, telling himself once the numbers went up...

It was all excuses. Three weeks. More than past time. He sighed wearily. He didn't realize how loudly until he saw both subjects staring at him. He picked up his phone.

"Your majesty?... No, everything is... No, I'm fine... Yes... yes, I ate... And lunch as well... No, it wasn't just noodles. I called to ask you... yes, I'm nearly done with that... anyway, I called to ask if you could come by the lab tomorrow? ...It doesn't matter when... I have something you... you need to see... 10? Yes, that's fine... Thank you... no, I won't work all night... Yes, Sire... Goodbye." He closed the phone and dropped his head into his hands.

A soft touch on his arm roused him eventually back to the moment. Subject Two was standing at his side, anxious as ever to ease pain. "ARE YOU HURT?"

He sighed and pulled his arm away. "No... no, it's... nothing." He rose, rubbing his eye sockets. "Come. Bath time."

It wasn't really. They weren't at all dirty. Certainly not enough to warrant a bath. But the boys had decided they liked the bathtub, so they ran ahead gleefully. He arrived in the bathroom to the sight of both of them bouncing and holding up their arms so they could be undressed. He could have taught them to dress and undress themselves, he reflected. But... tonight he wanted to do it.

He let them play for quite a while before making them settle down to be scrubbed. He took his time, being gentle about it for once. Subject Two leaned into him and he put up with it longer than usual. He didn't say anything, not really noticing when the boys asked questions, and not at all noticing their concerned glances.

Out of the tub and dried, he selected a pair of clean gowns for them.

"DON'T WE GET OUR YOU-CLOTHES?"

"They're dirty. I'm going to wash them. You'll get them back in the morning."

"yours are dirty too."

Gaster glanced down, belatedly wondering how long he'd been wearing the same turtleneck and stained lab coat. They had a point.

He sent them out into the hall while he cleaned himself and changed into other clothes. The boys followed him to the laundry room, immediately clamoring with questions regarding the clothes-washing process.

He brought them back to their cell. He stood at the door, staring at the little room which had been their home and world since their creation. He wanted to say something in apology, or explanation, or justification. What he said was, "This place is a mess."

"I TRY TO CLEAN IT, BUT BROTHER WON'T HELP!"

Subject One shrugged off the accusation, looking unconcerned at the scattered papers, blankets, and toys.

"I want it organized by morning. Bed made, papers stacked, everything in its place. Both of you will help."

Subject One shrugged again in a manner which implied there was no chance he'd lift a bone to make the cell orderly. But Subject Two was all assurances that it would be perfect by the time the lights came on.

Gaster went to his office to engage in his own half-hearted cleaning. He watched Subject Two take charge and boss his brother into assisting. Subject One did so briefly, then passed out, or at least pretended to. No shouting by his brother motivated him to get up again.

Gaster found he'd stopped his own work and was just watching their antics. He shook himself and dragged himself away. What was this heaviness in his soul? Why were his eyes leaking? Maybe he hadn't eaten enough. Or too much coffee. Or...

...he was going to miss them.

*****

Morning.

Gaster fed the subjects, scrubbed their faces, and put them in newly cleaned clothes. In the workroom, he sat them down and explained the day. "Someone is coming to visit today."

"A PERSON OR A THING?"

He winced. "A monster. Not a skeleton."

"are skeletons all things?"

"ARE YOU A THING TOO?"

He flinched again. "We'll discuss that later." _Never._ "This monster won't be able to understand the way you talk. And you won't be able to understand him."

"WHY NOT?"

He ignored the question. "He'll understand if you write in the new characters I showed you. Or you can try your sign language."

"why's he comin' here?"

"To..." There wasn't an easy answer to that. "It's complicated."

Subject One looked puzzled and bothered.

Subject Two bounced gleefully. "DOES HE LIKE PUZZLES? CAN I SHOW HIM MY PUZZLES? WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE? DOES HE DO SOFT TOUCHES?"

Subject One was studying Gaster, and the doctor didn't like the steady, silent gaze at all. Subject One was much easier when he was being sarcastic. At least then Gaster knew what he was thinking.

He told them he needed to get ready and sent them off with warnings to stay clean. Subject Two would have pursued and peppered him with questions, but Subject One kept him occupied in the corner, and they became absorbed with their markers.

An hour passed before Gaster's phone rang. "Hello, your majesty... I'll come unlock the door right away... yes, Sire... goodbye." He turned to the boys. "I'm going to let the monster inside. Stay here and don't get into trouble." He locked the workroom behind him, hoping his desk would still be standing by the time he returned.

Asgore looked delighted as Gaster let him in. "So you're finally showing off your 'secret lair'," he chuckled. "I was starting to think you'd buried yourself down here." He wrapped an affectionate paw around the scientist's shoulders. "How are you doing?"

"Your majesty..." Gaster tensed at the contact. How did he start? He'd half prepared a speech, but the sleepless night had eradicated it from his mind. He slumped and pulled away. "...This way."

"Gaster? Is something wrong? I thought you'd had a breakthrough." Asgore followed, staring at the halls with increasing surprise. "How big is this place?"

"...I've been working on it for a while." Gaster halted and turned to face his king. He rubbed his eye sockets. God... how did he begin?

"What's wrong?" The king's voice was gentle, as was his touch on Gaster's arm. "Are you hurt?"

"Do you... do you recall how you told me not to continue experimenting with the barrier?" Gaster lowered his head. He couldn't meet those kindly eyes... they wouldn't be kindly for much longer.

"I assume you ignored my instructions."

"...I couldn't... the cost... I couldn't let you..."

"That's my burden, Gaster. Not yours."

Two great and protective paws were laid on his slumped shoulders. He could just lose himself in the offered embrace. Lie. Say this was all a mistake. But... "...I thought. If I could... spare you. The pain... it ought to be mine. I could... I could do what you couldn't. Find a way..." He choked. "...No matter the cost."

"The cost?"

"I..." He rubbed his hands compulsively. "I had an idea. To make... living tools. That could be... examined. Probed for... weakness. Made like the barrier to... destroy it."

"Living tools? What are you talking about?"

"I..." He was shaking so hard it was difficult to continue. "I took m-my body... mutilated myself for the material. Cut up my soul. M-made... things... monsters... to use... to find a way through the barrier. I... I made them with the intent of t-torturing them. F-finding their weakness. Using... exploiting it. I've kept them down here f-for... God... so long. Preparing them for... use. But..." He put his hands over his face. "I've failed," he sobbed. "I can't save you."

"Failed? Gaster, you aren't making sense. What did you do?"

"I made children!" Gaster practically screamed in the king's face. "To torture. To destroy. To use against the barrier."

"It isn't possible. You couldn't have..."

Gaster turned away and trudged down the hall like a man condemned. He reached the workroom and opened the door. "See for yourself." He stepped inside.

The subjects were still drawing. They looked up expectantly at Gaster's arrival, then stared openly at the massive goat-king.

"THAT'S A MONSTER?"

"they're so big."

"WHERE ARE THEIR BONES?"

"what's the hairy stuff?"

If they were amazed, the king was more so. He stood frozen, his brown eyes huge and stunned. "It's true," he whispered.

"what did they say?" Subject One tore his eyes away from the king and turned to Gaster. "can they really not understand us?"

"WE MADE SIGNS!" Subject Two proudly held up the results of their unsupervised stent in the workroom.

One sign read, ' _HELLO! THIS IS MY BROTHER. I MADE A PUZZLE. DO YOU LIKE PUZZLES?'_

The other read, ' _hi._ '

Gaster was a little perplexed, considering which had the better grip on language. But, he reflected, they'd probably spent his whole absence working on Subject Two's sign, and Subject One had had minimal time to devote to his own efforts.

"They speak like you," Asgore observed, working through his first round of shock. "Can they understand me?"

"No, your majesty." Gaster waved a hand at the signs. "They can write, and they know a little sign language."

"YEAH, WE KNOW THAT!"; Subject Two proudly signed 'TABLE, CHAIR, BROTHER' in rapid succession.

Subject One said nothing, intently studying the king. "what's the wiggling thing in their mouth?"

"That's his tongue. That's how other monsters form words."

"WHERE ARE HIS BONES?"

"Inside him."

"CAN WE TOUCH HIM?"

"What are they asking?" Asgore wanted to know.

"You're the first non-skeleton they've seen," Gaster explained. "They want to understand you."

Asgore crouched down and offered out his paws. "Tell then they're welcome to come closer."

Gaster did.

Subject Two bridged the distance immediately and ran exploratory fingers over the offered palm and fur.

Subject One came up behind him, studying with eyes only and directing his questions to Gaster.

Gaster supplied translations on both fronts as the children asked for explanation of this stranger, and Asgore tried to oblige.

"DOES HE DO SOFT TOUCH?"

Gaster winced and didn't respond.

"What are you asking for, Little One?" Asgore asked. Subject Two was right beneath his chin and clearly in want of something.

"SOFT TOUCHES." Subject Two patted his brother on the head and looked expectantly at the king.

Asgore placed a massive paw over Subject Two's skull. The boy giggled and head-butted the palm in eager demand for caressing.

Asgore lifted his other hand and reached for Subject One, but the boy drew back and retreated behind his brother.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"He wasn't going to hurt you," Gaster assured the boy.

Subject One shook his head, his eyes growing stormy. He went to the far end of the room and sat down.

Asgore rose. "Gaster... we need to discuss this. But... not in front of them."

"No..." Gaster's mind felt sluggish and sick. "I'll put them in their cell."

"Cell?" Asgore looked alarmed.

"DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT?" Subject Two seized him by the arm. "IT'S THIS WAY! I CLEANED IT UP AND EVERYTHING. MY BROTHER WOULDN'T HELP AT ALL!"

Asgore obediently followed the tugging child, who chattered constantly, oblivious to Asgore's mystified expression. Subject One fell in line behind them and Gaster brought up the rear, lagging further behind as they went.

He'd almost reached the cell when Subject Two came racing back to him. "I WANT TO SHOW HIM MY PUZZLE! I WANT TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT. SHOW ME THE SIGNS SO I CAN DO IT!"

"I can translate for you."

"BUT I WANT TO DO IT!"

Gaster sighed. "Fine. Which puzzle?" He followed Subject Two into the cell.

It took several minutes. Subject Two didn't seem to be making any progress with the signs and seemed much too distracted. Abruptly he broke off even caring. "NEVER MIND. YOU CAN TELL HIM."

It wasn't like Subject Two at all, but it terminated a hopeless lesson, and that was all Gaster cared about. The king had probably seen him sign the whole thing multiple times by now. He turned to explain.

Asgore's back was to him. He was crouched down, apparently engrossed in something.

"Your majesty?" Gaster signed tentatively as he came around the king. "Shall we go talk?"

The king rose. "Actually, Gaster. I believe I'd like to speak to the children first. Alone."

Before the king stood Subject One. He had a notepad clutched to his chest, his arm crossed over the messages therein. He turned his head as Gaster approached. His eyes swam with deadly blackness, his expression curled in a look of ferocity and malice.


	3. Don't Capiche?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asgore's reaction to Gaster's reveal. Subject One's reaction to Asgore's existence.

"Nice day today," Asgore hummed to himself as he walked through the halls of the core toward the area Gaster had walled off as his private lab. It was the mantra he sang to himself every day, but this time he hoped it would be. Gaster was finally letting him in! Maybe it was just work, maybe it was something more. But he'd allowed someone a little closer and Asgore felt a wave of relief that his friend might finally be willing to talk about whatever had been stressing him for far too long.

He called when he reached the door, feeling childish excitement to see the inside of the lab. Maybe there would be bubbling tubes of chemicals, or mechanical whirling things. He didn't know much about science, but he hoped to be impressed.

But Gaster wasn't in a state to impress. He looked even worse than normal. He flinched from the king's touch and hunched miserably as if he expected a blow. Asgore was worried from the first.

And the things Gaster said... None of it could be true. It wasn't possible. No one could do such a thing - practically or ethically. It had to be lies... but Gaster certainly wasn't the type to joke, nor did he seem to find this confession the least bit funny.

"See for yourself," the scientist had said, and Asgore had had a moment to picture the worst. What sort of mutant monstrosities had Gaster made? He'd braced himself for the worst...

...And certainly not expected children. Two perfectly healthy, miraculous skeleton children. They were obviously intelligent and curious. Perhaps one was suspicious, but that might have been nature, not nurture. The other seemed fearless and inquisitive.

There seemed no sign of torture or neglect about them. If it hadn't been for Gaster's confession, Asgore would have thought he'd done what he did to gain a family... not expendable tools. How could Gaster have ever looked at these young ones and seen anything but miracles?

The mention of a cell brought an ugly tinge to their lives. Asgore would have wanted to see how they were being kept even if the larger one hadn't insisted. He'd allowed himself to be pulled along, then followed when the two children surged ahead, talking rapidly in their cipher dialect.

He halted at the door of the cell, taking stock as the larger child and Gaster entered and began to converse over a color cube. The room didn't seem too bad. Minimal toys, but maybe they hadn't been here much. Strange there was only one bed.

He felt a tug at his robe and looked down. The smaller child was staring up at him with narrowed eyes. "Yes, Little One?" He crouched down and signed as he spoke, unsure how much the child could understand. "Did you want to ask me something?"

The boy hefted the notebook he carried and wrote rapidly. A moment later he flipped the book around and held up a message for the king to see.

' _were you the one who hurt him?_ '

* * *

"BROTHER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME CLEAN!"

Subject One slowed his breathing and held still. If he was quiet long enough, his brother would give up and leave him alone. He loved his brother dearly, but sometimes he just needed to lie quietly and puzzle through things, not plow ahead the way Brother did. Sometimes he feigned sleep to gain those opportunities. This was one of them.

There were many things Subject One didn't know or understand, but he tried hard. One of the latest mysteries he struggled to unravel involved the phone. _He_ had said there was to be no talking when _He_ was on the phone. _He_ had not explained why, but Subject One had quickly gleaned there was a difference between when the phone was out and _He_ was typing on it, as opposed to when _He_ had it to _His_ skull and was speaking into it. The latter was when silence was required.

The brothers had tried to figure out the mystery of the phone. Brother had thought maybe there was a tiny monster inside, or that _He_ was talking to _Himself_ , but forgetting to say half the conversation. That hadn't seemed right.

Subject One had started reading over _His_ shoulder when _He_ was at the computer. Usually the files were in normal characters, but there were other messages that appeared in the other characters - the one _He_ said other monsters used. Sometimes those messages just popped up on the computer or phone, and _He_ would type responses, which led to more messages. Conversation.

The brothers had played message games. So, _He_ was playing message games with someone not Inside. That was how _He_ talked to Outside monsters? By writing? Somehow the phone and computer showed the monster somewhere else what _He_ was typing? So... was speaking into the phone the same way? Was _He_ speaking to someone far away? How could they hear _Him_?

But, that seemed to be the answer, so Subject One paid much more attention to the messages being spoken in hopes of learning something about Outside. And this night, there had been a curious call.

 _He_ had been sad. They knew that face and sigh. Then _He'd_ talked on the phone and become even sadder. Brother had been concerned with the emotions of the moment and forgotten what had been said. But Subject One had not. The words played over and over in his mind. ' _I called to ask if you could come by the lab tomorrow_.'

Lab meant Home. Home meant Inside. Inside meant here. A stranger was coming here tomorrow, and that made _Him_ sad.

There had been a time Subject One wouldn't have cared if _He_ was sad or not. He might have even taken some pleasure out of it.

In the beginning - as far back as he could remember - the only thing which made him happy was the presence of his brother. Brother was good, absence of Brother was bad. Since _He_ was the source of Brother being given and taken, _He_ had become the source of all misery in Subject One's world. _He_ never explained why they were separated. It just happened at _His_ whim, sometimes violently when they cried and clung together. Every day, Subject One's animosity toward _Him_ had grown. If _He_ was eliminated, he would not be separated from Brother anymore, or so his reasoning had gone.

But then things had changed. They'd been moved to a bigger cell and left together constantly - except if they were being punished, or sometimes for tests or lessons. With this change, Subject One's view of the world in general, and _Him_ in particular, had greatly improved.

Punishments had clear cause and effect. If he avoided the cause, he'd not lose his brother. Tests... he couldn't do anything about those separations. But it was alright once he understood his brother would be returned to him when they were over. And lessons... he didn't like to admit it... but it was sort of nice to do those without Brother sometimes. _He_ showed him different things when Brother wasn't around. It wasn't that Brother wasn't smart... it just took him longer and he didn't like the letters and numbers so much. To Subject One, they were magic. They came easily in his mind. He loved the patterns of the numbers. Those were his kind of puzzles.

...And he liked the approval he received. Brother's pride and approval was easily won. Brother gave his kindness freely. _His_ approval was harder earned, and subsequently more dear, or at least important in a different way. Subject One had been uncomfortable the first time he'd been praised. He hadn't wanted to like it. But he'd sought it more. Because _His_ approval had led to more numbers, new challenges, more learning, and those he hungered for.

So, gradually he'd accepted Brother's view of the world. It was a limited world, which wasn't fair as far as he was concerned, but it had room enough for goodness. Brother was goodness all the time. _He_ was goodness some of the time. _He_ provided nourishment, and entertainment, and learning. _He_ could remove any of those things on a whim. Subject One wasn't sure the feeling of being controlled was good, but it was how the world worked. And Brother insisted if they were good enough, _He_ would expand their world. _He_ would give them things without taking them away. _He_ would take them Outside.

And then something had changed. _He_ had started going to the Bad Place. That had been all the explanation they'd received those days _He_ could only sit at _His_ desk, shaking and hovering somewhere between awake and asleep. And it had gotten worse. Sometimes _He_ couldn't stand up. Sometimes _He_ had marks and cracks on _His_ bones which looked painful and _He_ winced if they bumped things. Sometimes _He_ could barely move when they begged _Him_ for food. And they'd had to beg more often. It didn't seem like _He_ was forgetting about them. It was as if _He_ no longer had the ability to care for them.

Before it had started, Brother had said he felt he had to take care of Subject One and _Him_. Subject One had hotly protested this assessment. He didn't need to be babied. Or so he said, but it felt so good to fall asleep in Brother's arms. And _He_ certainly didn't need care. _He_ was bigger and stronger and more powerful than both of them. _He_ controlled everything. _He_ took care of them, not the other way around.

But as it had grown worse, Subject One had begun to wonder. Something bad was happening. Something _He_ couldn't stop.

That day they'd been taken Outside had been baffling. The certainty they'd been abandoned. Brother had stayed confident through it all. Subject One had put all his hopes on Brother's resolve.

And then _He_ had returned. Worse than they'd ever seen _Him_. Brother had known what to do... somehow. He'd been the one to take charge. Subject One had followed and bolstered his brother as they stepped into their first act of healing.

What a terrible and strange place they'd seen. Those awful whispers. All that pain. And _Him_. Broken and vulnerable and alone. _He_ did need their care. _He_ needed them just as they needed _Him_.

They couldn't do much, but they could distract. They could glow. They could remind _Him_ when it was meal time. Little things.

Brother had only been concerned about the moment and how to fix what was happening now, but Subject One puzzled over how they had reached this point. Why had _He_ gone to the Bad Place? Why had _He_ been hurt? Why had it stopped? Would it start again?

From things _He'd_ said, Subject One had reached the idea _He'd_ gone to the Bad Place so they would not. That _He'd_ suffered pain which might otherwise have been theirs. That _He'd_ stopped the pain somehow, but _He_ feared it starting again, and feared it would include them.

There had been another place, another entity which had existed during that strange time - the human. The one who had taken the brothers to a hiding place. Not Outside, not Inside. Not a bad place, but not really a good place either.

They'd liked it. The human had pet them and told them how good they were... but they'd also said such strange things about _Him_. And when they'd told them how _He_ fell down, the human had smiled. Like they wanted _Him_ hurt.

Since their return from the outside room, they'd seen no sign of the human, and _He_ had said hopefully they never would. And Subject One had begun putting pieces into an unsteady puzzle.

Was it possible the Bad Place wasn't a where, but a who? That _HE_ had gone somewhere, and _someone_ there had hurt _Him_? That there was an entity out there fully committed to causing _Him_ pain? And _He_ had stopped them somehow so that _He_ didn't go to that place anymore. But _He'd_ stopped the human from taking them... so did that mean the human place was the Bad Place?

He'd voiced the possibility to Brother, and been shut down immediately. The human had been nice to them, therefore they were nice, therefore they wouldn't harm anyone, including and especially _Him._ To Brother, the Bad Place and the entity hurting _Him_ were nebulous forces of darkness which existed far, far away from anything familiar and good. Nothing could be both good and bad. The human was good. They couldn't be bad.

Brother's assessments had proved right in the past, but Subject One had his doubts this time. Still, there had to be other possibilities. If it wasn't the human, who else existed in the outside world who could cause _Him_ harm?

He had only the vaguest notion of how many entities existed Outside. Including himself, he'd never laid eyes on more than three living bodies in one place at one time. If he tried, he could imagine one or two more skeletons in a crowd, but any more than that was mind-blowing. Besides Brother and _Him_ , there was the human and the monsters _He_ talked to the phone. Subject One was pretty sure there were at least two of those from the way _His_ delivery changed depending on who _He_ spoke to. So if it wasn't Brother, and it wasn't the human... that narrowed down the culprits.

Now this night, _He_ had asked someone to come here. And that someone's presence had made _Him_ sad. So... was this the someone who had hurt _Him_? Was the badness about to start again for unknown reasons? Was this about to become the Bad Place?

He fell asleep to his puzzling, comforted somewhat by Brother's secure arms. But morning had seemed to bring a confirmation of his fears.

A monster was coming here. A monster _He_ didn't want to come here. And when the monster had appeared, _He_ had become even more upset and helpless. Like there was nothing _He_ could do to stop anything the monster might do.

So, this was the answer? This was who had caused the pain? Why was he here? There could only be one reason. And it couldn't happen again. If there was a way to stop the pain, he had to find it and protect his own. He didn't have a word for what _He_ was to them, but _He_ was someone important. Someone to be cared for like a brother. Someone to be kept from harm.

He saw his opportunity when they started for the cell. He ran to his brother and spoke in a low voice. "i want to talk to the monster without _him_ seeing."

"WHY?"

"i need to know things. can you distract _him_?"

"HOW?"

"i dunno. show _him_ a puzzle."

" _HE'S_ SEEN ALL MY PUZZLES."

"have _him_ show you the signs so you can tell the monster about one."

Brother hesitated. "THAT SEEMS LIKE LYING."

"don't you want to show the stranger your puzzles?"

"YES..."

"so do it, okay?"

And Brother had run interference while Subject One seized a notebook and grabbed the stranger's flowing clothes.

The stranger smiled and crouched down, speaking gentle words Subject One didn't understand. He scribbled his note rapidly and held it up. ' _were you the one who hurt him?_ '

The stranger looked startled. He held out his hand and Subject One allowed him use of the paper. He wrote for a moment, then returned the book.

Subject One read; ' _Someone hurt him?_ '

The boy wrote quickly, filling up a page in his large curved letters. ' _in the bad place. if you're here to hurt him again, i won't let you._ ' His eyes went black. Determination rose in his soul. He glared at the stranger in open defiance as he summoned what little magic he had. He didn't know if it would do any good, but the choice to plant himself between those he cared about and those who might do them harm suddenly seemed very easy.


	4. Connection Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Asgore delays making decisions, the skeletons work on identity and relationships.

Gaster sat at the kitchen table, his head buried in his arms, and waited for the end. Had Subject One inferred what Gaster intended? Had he gotten into notes enough to guess the future? Or had he been harboring grudges all this time?

It didn't matter. The subjects would tell the king what Gaster was. If Asgore hadn't already believed in Gaster's corruption, he would when they were done.

Maybe he should just do it now. Save Asgore the pain of confronting him. Just slip out and head for the core. But he couldn't make himself stand. God, he was a coward as well as useless.

He didn't move at the sound of footsteps and the sliding of a chair. "...Did they tell you?"

"What do you think they told me?"

"Missed meals... isolation... tests..."

"Tell me."

He tried. He flitted unsteadily from topic to topic, thinking of any grievances the children might have against him. His mind wouldn't focus and he soon lapsed into silence.

"They didn't tell me any of that." Asgore replied. "They only wanted to talk about one thing."

"...What?"

"What's 'the bad place'?"

Gaster jerked violently in his chair.

"They claim you've been vanishing and reappearing injured. They say it's been bad enough you've been passing out." Asgore studied him seriously. "The littler one wanted to know if I'm the one who's been hurting you, and threatened to stop me if I tried anything."

That got Gaster to look up. "Subject One said that?"

"He has a lot of tenacity for so little a skeleton."

"You have no idea."

After a pause the king spoke in a prompting tone. "What happened to you?"

"It... it isn't important. I've dealt with it."

"Dealt with it how? Who? What happened?"

"Really, Sire... I-it's over. We don't need to..." The scientist was starting to shake.

"Were you in a fight? Was there an accident at the core? Tell me."

"P-please." Gaster rose and distanced himself from the king as his tremors worsened. "Please just... just forget it. I... I deserve... deserved it... just... don't..."

Strong arms encircled him. Restrained him. Held him. "Gaster, tell me what happened. Let me help you."

"You c-can't. I don't... deserve..." He was shaking too much to continue.

His friend was holding him. His friend who must certainly hate him now that he knew what sort of disaster Gaster was. A last moment of pity before...

"Tell me who hurt you," his king ordered.

And Gaster broke down, collapsing into comfort he didn't deserve. "T-there was a human."

"A human?" Asgore went rigid. "Here?"

"No... I can't explain it. I was here, and then... they.... somehow brought me to them. It wasn't... wasn't exactly outside the barrier. Just some sort of... prison."

Asgore pushed him into a chair and sat beside him. "This is serious. If humans have the ability to assault us without crossing the barrier..."

"It... I don't know if they all do. There have been no other reported attacks. It... it seemed limited to this place. The lab."

"What did they do when they had you?"

"Initially... questions. About the underground. You. My work... They knew things. Like they'd been watching me somehow."

"Did they hurt you?"

He nodded unwillingly. "I... I thought it was something I was doing or... not doing. But t-there wasn't a way to s-s-stop them. They just... wanted to..." He covered his face and struggled to continue. "T-they'd take me at all hours of the day. Questions... hitting... sometimes just refusing to let me leave. Then," he cringed, the memory still hurting like a fresh wound. "They started taking the boys."

Asgore sucked in his breath. "They hurt those poor little ones?"

"No. They were careful with them. Petted them. Told them how good they were... But... if they changed their mind... Subject One... he's not well. If they hit him, he'd die... I deserved it. After what I've done... what I intended. But they..."

"You couldn't let them hurt your children."

"They're not my children." He spoke in a rush, then got on with the story. "I had an idea how to block them. I was working on a way... but time ran out."

"What do you mean?"

"They told me they were going to keep the subjects and... kill me. So... I took them away from the lab to where I thought I could block the human. I was working to... to keep it from happening... and they took me. When they... they realized the subjects were missing... they were angry. They kept me there for days... they..."

Asgore was holding him close. "It's alright. You're safe now. I've got you."

So kind. It wouldn't last much longer. Gaster steeled himself to entirely gain his king's loathing. "I just... they wouldn't stop... I tried... I tried not to..." He choked. "I wasn't strong enough." He tensed, preparing for the worst. "I told them everything they wanted to know."

But the arms didn't go away. They didn't even flinch. "It's alright..."

Gaster shoved himself away. "Don't you understand?! I betrayed you, I betrayed everyone! Just to... I just didn't..."

Asgore reached for him. "Gaster..."

"No!" The scientist hunched into himself and turned away. "Don't... just don't... I don't..."

Asgore didn't pursue. "What happened then?"

"I had... had an idea how to block them. It seems to have worked. They haven't taken us in weeks."

"The children seem to feel your injuries were near-fatal." A pause. "Gaster? Tell me they were exaggerating."

Gaster sat down heavily, his head buried in his hands. "I didn't... I had to get to them... They'd been alone for days. I didn't realize how bad..."

"Why did you call me here?"

"To take them."

"Take them?"

"Take them away from here. Give them a home..." Gaster rubbed his eye sockets. "...I know what I deserve... I won't cause you any trouble... I'll do it myself..."

After a pause, Asgore spoke firmly. "You will not kill yourself under any circumstances."

Gaster winced. "...I don't want you to have to..."

"I don't want your life ended."

Gaster nodded weakly. "I'll go quietly... Whatever punishment you choose."

"Gaster..." The king sounded pained. "This is... I need time to process this and decide what's to be done. You'll come to me tomorrow. We'll discuss the future then."

"Yes, Sire."

"For now... There are two things you'll do before then." Asgore tapped a finger. "First, give them names. No more of this 'Subject' business."

Gaster looked up. "You're not going to take them?"

"They're terrified you'll be hurt if you're out of their sight. Taking them away immediately might do more harm than good. Whatever you did... or intended to do... your children love you."

"They're not my-"

"They're your children. You made them. You raised them. You're their father. You had better start acting like it."

Gaster cringed against the title and didn't respond.

"Second... knowing you're not a 'touchy' person might explain their desperation for physical contact. With that in mind, you'll give them what they're clearly longing for."

A thrill of foreboding ran through the scientist. "What's that, Sire?"

"Hugs. One each."

He shuddered. He'd expected punishment, but this was... worse.

A brief conferring of schedules, a promise to be at the castle at the appointed time, and Gaster was alone.

It felt worse to still be alive. To not have the king's loathing. It had been easier with the human - calling him worthless and a waste of space. At least they had spoken the honest truth.

He tried to focus on the practical. Lunch. They'd be hungry. He'd nearly finished when it occurred to him that the cell and the outside door were both unlocked. Snatching up the plate, he hastened for the cell, relieved to hear their voices as he approached.

"...it doesn't count. we didn't tell _him_ that."

"WE STILL SAID WE'D STAY HERE."

"but what if _he's_ hurt?"

" _HE_ CAN'T BE. THE MONSTER IS NICE. WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT."

He reached for the touchpad, recalling in time that the beams were down. The movement caught the subjects' eyes. They scrambled to their feet and ran to him.

Subject Two opened his arms, remembering just in time that 'don't touch me' was a fiercely enforced law. He pulled back, bouncing in place. "IS THE STRANGER-MONSTER GONE? HE SEEMED NICE BUT BROTHER THOUGHT MAYBE HE WASN'T. BUT I SAID HE MUST BE NICE OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LET HIM COME."

"Asgore's gone." Gaster put down the plate. "He'll... you'll see him again soon."

"he said we should stay here, but did we have to? do we have to do what he says?"

"Yes."

"HE SHOWED ME A NEW WORD! IT'S A GOOD ONE! DID I DO IT RIGHT?" Subject Two pushed a paper into his hands.

Gaster stared, his soul winding into knots. The word practically radiated on the paper. ' _FAMILY_ '. Beneath it was a drawing of three figures with their arms around each other.

"HE SAID FAMILY IS EVERYBODY YOU CARE ABOUT. SO, FAMILY IS YOU, ME, AND BROTHER. IS THAT RIGHT? ARE WE FAMILY?"

Gaster sat heavily on the bed, feeling ill. Subject Two was still talking, but the ringing in his skull prevented it from registering.

For the first time, he really looked at the subjects' drawings. Several lay by the bed and he picked them up. When Subject Two saw his interest, he rushed across the cell and returned with more, chattering all the while without Gaster hearing a word of it.

They'd mostly drawn the lab, with occasional attempts at recollecting their brief foray outside. Mostly they'd drawn three figures over and over.

He saw the things he'd done with them - tests, lessons, interactions. He saw himself as they wished him to be - embracing them, joining them in their games, leading them outside.

He looked down at the subjects. They'd settled on the floor on either side of the plate. Subject One's eyes were half-lidded, a sleepy smile on his face. He glanced from time to time at his brother or Gaster, all right in his world if they were safe. Subject Two was more restless energy - never quite still, humming to himself, constantly alert to his companions.

They were happy, Gaster realized. Such a limited and controlled life he'd built for them, and they'd still found joy. What would have happened if he'd destroyed this peace they'd created? What would he have become?

"ARE YOU HUNGRY?" Subject Two asked. "DID YOU EAT? DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD?" He picked up the plate and thrust the remaining chips toward Gaster.

Subject One held out his half-eaten sandwich.

"No. Those are yours. I'll eat later."

"BUT YOU WILL EAT? YOU DIDN'T EAT BREAKFAST."

He grimaced. "I'm fine."

"is the stranger-monster coming back?"

"No... but he wants us to go to him tomorrow."

That made them both sit up and stare. "WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE? WITH YOU? TO SEE HIM?"

Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. "Yes."

"we're goin' cause he wants it?"

"Yes."

"do you have to do what he says?"

He grimaced again. "Yes."

"is that how it works? we do what you say, and you do what he says, and he does what someone else says?"

"Asgore's the king of the underground. No one tells him what to do."

"what's 'king'?"

"It means all the monsters in the underground and required to do as he says."

"so... if you said for us to do a test, and he said for us not to... would we not have to do it?"

Gaster stood up quickly. "If you're done eating, we're going to the workroom so I can get something productive done today."

"i think that means 'yes'," he heard Subject One murmur.

Subject One fell asleep immediately upon arriving in the workroom. Subject Two pestered Gaster until he gave him the ball and sent him elsewhere to work off some energy. Even without the distraction, his mind wouldn't focus. His head drooped low over the desk...

His phone informed him several hours had passed when he finally roused himself. Subject One was still asleep. Subject Two was rolling the ball back and forth between his hands and looking bored. He grinned hopefully at Gaster. "DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?"

"That would be a waste of time." Gaster rose and went to the filing cabinet.

Subject Two followed after him. "WE COULD DO PUZZLES. I'M REALLY GOOD AT PUZZLES."

"Debatable."

Subject Two looked up at him with a dejected expression. "I DID WHAT YOU SAID. WITH THE BALL. BUT... IT'S LONELY IN THERE."

Gaster rubbed his eye sockets. "Why is that my problem?"

"I... JUST THOUGHT... MAYBE... DON'T YOU GET LONELY TOO?" He brightened. "MAYBE I COULD HELP YOU WITH YOUR SCIENCE-NESS, AND THEN WE CAN PLAY!"

"You want to help?" He rolled his eyes. "Have a seat."

He explained his work in the broadest technical terms possible.

Subject Two stared at him in a daze. He shook himself when Gaster was finish. "OKAY... SO, THE FIRST THING WE NEED TO DO... IS... ORGANIZE ALL THE PAPERS!”

It wasn't as if he'd made any headway today, so the boy could hardly make it worse. Gaster leaned back and watched Subject Two sort and re-sort the desk's contents. Eventually, the noise awoke Subject One and Gaster allowed them to play at the desk, conditional upon quiet.

He realized as he started to nod off again that he'd had no coffee. Or eaten. Or had a cigarette. The last seemed like a priority, but Subject Two had other ideas. When Gaster rose shakily, the boy leaped up, insisting Gaster needed to eat. He took off for the kitchen, ignoring Gaster's calls to stop.

The kitchen door was standing open, reminding Gaster he still hadn't locked the outside door. He abandoned the kitchen to Subject Two's idea of help and headed out for a cigarette. Even upon returning, he couldn't find the energy to rein in Subject Two's enthusiasm. He sat the kitchen table, head in his hands. How had he ended up here? He'd thought... or maybe he hadn't thought.

"DINNER'S READY." Subject Two brought him back to the moment as he slammed down a plate. "IT'S GOOD! I MADE IT. MYSELF! ALL MYSELF!"

Subject One clambered into a chair and studied his own plate. "it's good?"

"YES!"

"okay." Subject One poked a lump experimentally, then popped it into his mouth. Gaster watched warily to see if the boy would expire before his eyes, but Subject One just blinked a few times and continued eating.

Subject Two stood by, quivering and anxious. "ARE YOU GOING TO TRY IT?"

Gaster studied the desperately hopeful face. Suddenly a stomachache seemed less important than disappointing the child. He took a bite.

Remarkably, it did taste like food. Probably not the intended taste, but...

"DO YOU LIKE IT? IS IT GOOD? DID I DO A GOOD JOB?"

Gaster filtered through a series of comments. ' _Adequate for the developmental level but in need of improvement.' 'It is merely dinner. There is no reason to expect a reward.' 'Sit down and stop leaping about in that unnecessary manner_.' Those were what should be said... but why did it feel important for Subject Two to continue smiling? "The taste is acceptable, and the effort utilized in preparation is commendable."

Subject Two flung his arms around the disconcerted scientist. "YOU LIKE IT! YOU LIKE IT! AND THAT MEANS YOU LIKE ME!"

Gaster sighed. "Yes... yes... My praise is a treasured achievement. I know."

The boy squeezed him tighter. "I'LL COOK FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT! AND DAY AND MORNING AND EVERY OTHER TIME! I'LL MAKE YOU _SO_ HAPPY!"

"That's enough." Gaster peeled the boy off. "Go eat."

Unperturbed, Subject Two hopped into a chair, and devoured the plate's contents with apparent enjoyment.

"why did the stranger-monster come here?" Subject One asked abruptly.

"I asked him to visit."

Subject One's eyes narrowed. "you've never brought anybody here before. and he seemed real surprised to see us. like maybe you didn't tell him about us?" Receiving no answer, he kept on doggedly. "were we what you wanted to show him? how come you did that now?"

Gaster answered without thinking. "Because if something happens to me, someone needs to take care of you."

Subject Two immediately burst into tears. "NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T GO TO THE BAD PLACE ANYMORE! YOU SAID!"

"Stop. That's been dealt with. But... other events might occur which would... separate you from me."

"like what?"

"Irrelevant." Gaster rose quickly. "There is no need to hypothesize when the situation has been dealt with. If you're through eating, there are tests to perform."

In the workroom, he put them at opposite tables with their backs to one another and a stack of paper before each. "For the next thirty minutes you will write about yourselves. Your lives. Your thought. Whatever you wish. You will write entirely in the new characters. You may not speak. You may not help each other."

Both subjects gave him unhappy looks.

Gaster held up his phone and clicked the stopwatch. "Go."

He stopped them before twenty minutes had elapsed since Subject Two had barely reached the second page and was looking entirely miserable, while Subject One had lost interest in the assignment and was just writing the alphabet over and over very slowly.

"I TRIED REALLY HARD," Subject Two explained dejectedly as Gaster studied the two essays.

"It's enough for an assessment."

"WHAT KIND OF ASSESSMENT?"

"Of fonts."

"WHAT'S THAT MEAN?"

Explaining skeletal speech took a while. But they were excited to learn their handwriting would be found in the big skeleton book. They hunted through the pages, cheering when they finally located their own.

"And that's how skeletons name their ch... new skeletons."

"what're names?"

"It's someone or something's individual designation. A designation specific to them which others use to get their attention."

"like subject one and two?"

"AND BROTHER?"

Gaster winced. "Brother is... it's a connection word. You call each other 'brother' because that is your relationship to each other. A strange monster is not your brother. He would use a name." He pointed at the book. "And skeletons are named after their fonts."

"PA... PA... RUS."

"mine's two names."

"You'd just use the second part." Gaster turned away and began sorting through the mess Subject Two had left on his desk. The conversation was making his bones shudder with memories of skeleton names and speech. His head was starting to spin.

"wingdings." Subject One stabbed a finger at the alphabet he'd stumbled across.

And there went the world. Gaster made it to a chair and gripped his head to keep from passing out. No one had called him that since Tor... _oh, God_.

"NO JUST THE SECOND PART. DINGS. IS MINE JUST RUS?"

He rubbed his skull and tried to make the whirling blackness go away. They were just names. It wasn't important. He shouldn't feel any... this shouldn't lead to pain...

"so, is that what we call you now... wingdings?" Subject One asked when Gaster returned from making coffee. "but that's not what the stranger-monster said. he said... um... aster." The boy struggled to speak the way he'd heard the king pronounce the word.

Gaster shuddered. "Don't... don't call me that."

"which one?"

"Either of them."

"HOW COME YOU NEVER SAID THESE ONES? DID YOU NOT KNOW THESE WERE OUR... UM... DESIGNATIONS?"

"Subject One and Two were sufficient for my purposes."

"what purposes?"

Gaster pinched his nasal bridge. "It doesn't matter. Those are your names once you start going outside."

It was the magic word. They pestered him with questions about 'Outside' until he grumbled at them to be quiet. Even then, they sat on the floor beside him, giggling and whispering to each other. Gaster was used to filtering out their chatter and finally got something resembling productivity done. Eventually, he ordered them to clean up and escorted them to the cell.

At the door, he halted unsteadily. He still needed to get this hug business out of the way. Maybe he could put it off until tomorrow.

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"you look sick again."

Subject Two grabbed Gaster's wrists and tugged him into the cell. "YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN AND SLEEP. WE'LL WATCH AND PROTECT YOU."

"I am not in need of protection."

"WELL... MAYBE JUST NOT BEING ALONE? IT'S NICER WITH FAMILY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO AWAY WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OFF. YOU CAN STAY WITH US AND WE'LL MAKE SURE NO BAD PLACES COME TO GET YOU."

It wasn't just offering him the bed. They were offering him a closer place in their world. His head spun dizzily. Children he'd created to... and this day one had been prepared to fight for him, and the other had relentlessly cared for him. He didn't deserve... not after what he'd done... not after what he intended... he was nothing. And they... they deserved so much better than him. "I... No. I have a place to sleep. I don't need yours."

"WE COULD GO WITH YOU. THEN YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR SLEEPY PLACE AND FAMILY TOO."

It took more effort than it should have to turn away. "Get some rest. We're going to see Asgore tomorrow."

"we don't have to. if it hurts you."

"It's necessary. You'll be happier once... go to sleep." He closed the beams.

The boys stood at the barrier. "YOU WON'T GO TO THE BAD PLACE?"

"No, of course not."

"PROMISE? PROMISE YOU'LL COME BACK TOMORROW?"

"and be okay?"

He rubbed his eyes. "This is unnecessary."

"PROMISE? PLEASE? PLEASE YOU'LL COME BACK NOT HURT?"

"please?"

He sighed. "Fine. I will be here tomorrow. Like always." He hurried away.

Behind him he heard Subject Two say, "I WISH HE'D LET US PROTECT HIM."


	5. Protect Your Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human returns to finish what they started, only to find circumstances have changed.

When the arrival time came and went, Asgore tried not to worry. Gaster tended to get caught up in work. He might have lost track of time. And the children - no doubt they'd walk slowly to see the world. The smaller one might have trouble walking this far.

After an hour, he called. No answer. He told himself plausible excuses for a little while longer, then set out for the lab. Either something had happened, or Gaster was delaying. Either way, he needed to get there.

The lab door was standing ajar. Gaster's bag lay across the threshold, its contents spilled across the ground. Asgore stared with rising horror, then rushed into the dark lab, calling for his friend.

Answering shouts made him break into a run. He stumbled blindly down half-remembered halls, nearly colliding with a glowing containment field as he rounded a corner.

The children stood on the other side of the beams, their voices raised in frantic cries. At the sight of him, the smaller child ran to fetch the notepad and began scratching a message. The larger babbled unintelligible explanations, reaching his hand between the beams to clutch Asgore's sleeve.

"It's alright, Little Ones." Asgore tried to pitch his voice to a soothing tone even as alarm and confusion warred in his soul. "Everything's just fine." He looked around frantically. What was this? How did he get to them?

The smaller child shoved the notepad at him and Asgore squinted at the message. ' _he never came! he left last night and he never came back_.'

His soul went cold. This wasn't like Gaster at all. And after what he'd said yesterday... this could be disastrous for more monsters than just the children. He swallowed hard, forcing a smile as he wrote an answering message. ' _Don't be frightened. I'll help you_.' How did he...? Ah! He put a massive paw over the touchpad.

Nothing happened.

Helplessness clawed at him as he tried for formulate a plan. The children were safe where they were at least. Gaster could free them once he was found. He wouldn't have... God, don't think about that.

Alphys! She'd understand the technology. She could find a way through the beams. Maybe she'd know how to find Gaster too. Yes. Get in contact with her. That was the first step.

No, first he had to calm down the crying children. He wrote another message and returned the book with what he hoped was a confident smile. ' _I'll get you some food. Then we'll see about getting you out and finding Dr. Gaster.'_

They set up an alarmed shriek when he started toward the kitchen. He made a sign for them to stay calm, and hastened onward. It would help. He'd fix the easiest problem. One step at a time. That was how to keep from being overwhelmed. They'd find Gaster. He wouldn't... wouldn't lose someone else...

The kitchen door was locked and refused to open to his touch. Daunted, he started back, struggling to formulate a new plan.

The cell was silent as he approached. "It's alright, children. I'm back." He tried to make his tone soothing. "I couldn't get you food but..."

The cell was empty.

"Children?" He stared. There was nowhere they could be hiding. How...

He heard a crash, followed by erratic footsteps. Had they gotten out? He hastened toward the noise.

Dr. Gaster rounded the corner, dragging himself along the wall for support. He barely seemed to recognize the king as Asgore caught him before he hit the ground. "...can't let them..." he wheezed.

"Gaster! The children are gone."

"...they can't... they..." The skeleton broke from him, staggering to the cell. He slammed against the touchpad and lunged through the doorway. There was nowhere to hide, but he looked frantically beneath the bed and blanket even so.

"Gaster..." Asgore seized him before he could collapse. "They just vanished. I didn't see. Is this... is it the human?" He didn't need to ask. Gaster looked as if he'd been tenderized in a meat grinder. "Let me heal you..."

"No!" Gaster struggled. "I have to... I can't let... I... I have..." He broke down sobbing, clinging to Asgore. "I failed... I failed..."

"No," Asgore soothed. "Something went wrong, but we'll take care of it. What were you using the block the human? Some sort of machine? Maybe it just needs fixing."

"Fix... check my notes." Gaster pulled away, staggering down the hall with a burst of purpose.

"Let me heal you!" Asgore protested and trailed after, unable to get the skeleton to hold still long enough to begin his work. "What happened?"

*****

Dr. Gaster had been duly punished for his conduct, the human decided with satisfaction. It had taken quite a bit of work to find what he'd done and establish a workaround, but it was alright now. The doctor knew who was the stronger. He could be disposed of at leisure.

The real concern was the brothers. Were they alright? Was it too late? Had the experiment already begun? The human shuddered to think what their condition might be. They shouldn't have delayed. They should have found a way to keep the brothers protected sooner, not wasted time beating the doctor. That had just been for fun.

They flipped the flag on the coding, releasing the shaking and whimpering doctor in favor of seeking out the brothers. There was a moment's pause, and two bewildered figures stumbled into view.

The change in them was instantly evident, and utterly baffling. They were wearing clothes! And scarves. And they were terrified.

"WHERE IS _HE_? WHERE ARE WE? ARE WE HERE AGAIN? _HE_ SAID IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN ANYMORE." Subject Two looked around in open distress.

Subject One focused immediately on the human. "brother, look."

Subject Two turned to the human with an imploring look. "HELLO! HAVE YOU SEEN _HIM_? _HE'S_ A SKELETON LIKE US BUT BIGGER AND WITH A WHITE COAT. _HE_ MIGHT BE HURT. _HE_ GETS HURT WHEN WE'RE NOT THERE TO HELP _HIM_."

" _he_ said _he'd_ be early today so we could go see... the king monster. what was his name-thing?"

" _HE_ SAID... UM... ASGORE. THAT'S WHAT _HE_ SAID. AND THAT WE SHOULD USE THE OTHER DESIGNATIONS. THE... FONT ONES."

"yeah. papyrus. sans."

"COMIC SANS."

"i like sans." Subject One returned to the urgency at hand. " _he_ said _he'd_ come early. but _he_ didn't come at all! we've been waitin' for hours."

"WE'RE REALLY HUNGRY."

"and that asgore-monster couldn't open the beams."

"WE HAVE TO FIND _HIM_. IF _HE_ WENT TO THE BAD PLACE, WE HAVE TO FIND _HIM_ SO WE CAN HELP _HIM_."

" _he_ said _he_ wouldn't go there anymore. _he_ promised."

"BUT SOMETHING MAY HAVE HAPPENED! I SAID _HE_ SHOULD STAY WITH US SO WE COULD PROTECT _HIM_! I CAN'T PROTECT _HIM_ IF _HE_ GOES AWAY!"

The human reached out to pat the distressed skeleton on the head.

"NO!" Subject Two ducked their hand. "NO TOUCHING RIGHT NOW! THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOFT TOUCHING! WE HAVE TO GO BACK! PLEASE LET US GO BACK!"

"we promised no more hiding games. we have to go back."

The human asked about them and their clothes.

" _HE_ GAVE US HIM-CLOTHES. I DON'T KNOW WHY. BUT THEY'RE NICE. ESPECIALLY THE SCARVES."

"but that's not important. we have to go!"

"BROTHER'S RIGHT!" They were both crying. "PLEASE WE HAVE TO GO. IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BUT WE HAVE TO FIND _HIM_."

Subject One was staring at the human with growing unease. "why... why are we here now? after _he_ disappeared? did you... brother said it couldn't be you... but..."

Subject Two's sobbing drowned out the soft murmur. "WE HAVE TO GO BACK! PLEASE LET US GO BACK!"

The human tried to compliment them, but the words were drowned out and ignored. The children had a singular focus and they wouldn't be denied. Bewildered, the human clicked a button.

"THANK YOU!" They scampered off.

" _I hope they'll be alright_."

*****

Gaster sorted desperately through his computer files, muttering all the while and pushing aside Asgore's attempts to make him sit down and take care of himself. He'd deal with the breaks and bruises later. His good eye was still functioning enough for him to search the files. That was all that was important. He had to... only one thing mattered.

"WHERE IS _HE_? IS _HE_ HERE? HELLO!"

"hello! we're here! we didn't hide!"

Those voices! He ran for the hall.

The children threw themselves on him, sobbing and flaring green. "YOU'RE OKAY!" "you're back!" "YOU'RE HURT!"

A fleeting part of his mind noted he'd gotten those hugs in before visiting Asgore. Then, all he could think was relief. "Did they hurt you?" He gasped.

"NO, THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT!" Subject Two declared with his certainty in the goodness of all. "THEY WANTED TO PET US AND TALK TO US, BUT WE SAID WE HAD TO FIND YOU, SO THEY LET US GO."

"they didn't touch us," Subject One added, his expression saying he was more aware of where they'd been and the danger the place presented. "we didn't let them."

Gaster nodded. The boys were safe and whole... for the moment. He rose, one hand steadying himself on Subject Two. "We need to get out of here before it happens again. Asgore, if you could..." He felt a tingling tug in his bones. "No!"

The boys snapped to attention. "is it happenin' again? are you goin' away again?"

"Gaster? What's wrong?"

Gaster shoved the children from him. "Take them! Get them away from here! Don't come back!" He couldn't resist any longer. He was being drawn away.

"NO!" They boys shrieked as one. They seized him, pulling back and resisting the draw of the human. And then... all three were being swept away.

*****

"No!" Gaster staggered into the too-familiar cage. He shoved the children behind his back and spread his arms. "Stay behind me." He tensed, mustering up what magic he could. He should have healed. Even with the flare the boys had given him, he was nowhere near full HP.

"NO, IT'S OKAY. IT'S THIS PLACE. THERE'S THE NICE HUMAN."

The human was staring, obviously not expecting this assortment all at once.

"Leave them out of this," Gaster panted. "They're not... not strong enough for your games."

"no!" Subject One ducked beneath the scientist's arm and took a stance between his family and the human. "you're not gonna hurt _him_ anymore! i won't let you." His bones rattled and his eyes glowed a resolute blue. A sorry little bone wall formed between the three skeletons and the surprised human.

 _Now where had he learned that?_ Gaster found himself wondering. And why did the human look... frightened? Were they not as secure in their position as he'd thought?

"BROTHER, DON'T!"

The human reached out, but Gaster didn't wait to learn their intent. He grabbed Subject One, turning his body to shield the child. "Don't! He's no threat to you."

The human paused. Gaster saw their hand was open, not a fist. Maybe they hadn't intended to punish the child for his show of defiance.

"let me go!" Subject One writhed. "i hafta do somethin'!"

"BROTHER, WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT THEM?"

Gaster pushed Subject One into his brother's arms and turned back. He trembled. Humans didn't know mercy. Was there any sense begging? Was there any chance he wasn't about to witness the deaths of his... his children?

"WHY ARE YOU SHAKING? WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"Just..." Gaster tried not to collapse. "I know your kind isn't much for... pity. But they're only children. They don't know. They've never harmed anyone. Send them away. Asgore will take care of them. Do what you want to me. Just let them go. Please."

"no! we hafta help you!" Subject One was still struggling against his brother's restraining arms.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DID THEY..." Subject Two looked around with sudden enlightenment. "IS THIS THE BAD PLACE? IS THIS WHERE YOU WENT?" He stared at the human. "BUT YOU'RE NICE. YOU WOULDN'T HURT _HIM_. YOU COULDN'T... WHY WOULD YOU?" His grip on his brother went slack.

Subject One wriggled free and came up beside Gaster, clinging to his lab coat. "you can't stay here. they'll hurt you more." His eyes were full of tears as he turned to the human. His anger was past, fear and confusion remaining. "why are you doin' this? why are you hurtin' us?"

Subject Two was crying and clinging to Gaster's other side. "DON'T HURT OUR FAMILY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ANYONE. NO ONE SHOULD HURT ANYONE EVER!"

The human drew back. Their expression was strange. Confusion was the clearest of the warring emotions. They pressed a button.

"Oh, thank god."

Gaster saw the lab appearing around them. He staggered, the children keeping him from collapsing. Then, massive paws were sweeping him off his feet.

"It's alright," Asgore murmured. "You're safe now. Rest. This is all just a bad dream."

"...The kids..."

"I'll take care of them. Go to sleep."

And he did.

*****

Subject Two awoke to a moment of disorientation. Where... oh, yes. They were in a new cell. In Asgore's lab... home... inside? This one was different from their cell. It had two beds. And _He_ was asleep in the other one.

Subject Two smiled and squeezed his brother closer. This was exactly what he wanted. One, two, three. Altogether in the same cell. It would be better if they were in the same bed, but _He_ wasn't so into touching yet. They'd have to work on that some more. _He_ was improving. _He_ was starting to figure out that you were supposed to like touching.

Today had ended up being a good day. It hadn't started out that way, but when Asgore had brought them to this cell, and said they were all going to stay with him from now on, THAT had made it one of the happiest days he could remember. The best day, of course, was the day he'd gotten a brother. But this was a good second. Maybe third. That day he'd first gotten to use the color cube had been pretty good too.

Now that they were all together, Subject Two could take care of them like he was supposed to. He'd tried to explain that was his purpose, but _He_ had trouble remembering it. It would be easier to take care of _Him_ now.

Subject Two had known he had to take care of his family from very early on. At the start, things hadn't seemed fair. When he and Brother would play, if Brother started to cry, _He_ would race in, check Brother anxiously, and give Subject Two a timeout. But if Subject Two was crying, _He_ would just glance at them and go back to work. Or maybe tell them to settle down. It wasn't fair.

But when it had been explained about Brother's condition, things had been clearer. He couldn't hurt Brother ever. Not even a little. And if he didn't hurt Brother, even a little, they'd be together always. That was the secret to being not-alone.

So he'd been careful. And he'd had Brother. But that hadn't been when he'd learned he had to care for his family.

That revelation had come shortly thereafter. When _He_ had been away doing the thing that made _Him_ smell funny and they'd found a new game of climbing on the desk and jumping off it. It had been fun. Until Brother slipped, and hit the edge, and there'd been a crack along his femur, and _He_ had come running back, and there'd been such a glowing of greenness, and _He_ had held Brother and panted and looked so scared.

THAT was when he'd learned Brother wasn't just to be protected from Subject Two, but from the world. That anything could end with him losing the thing most dear to him. He had to be constantly vigilant. Brother didn't seem to know how many things could hurt him, and did not appreciate being reminded of his 'condition'. Subject Two had to be on guard always. It was tiring, but a strong kind of tiring. Protecting Brother was his purpose. It was good to have a purpose.

He hadn't known protecting _Him_ was part of his purpose at first, but that had become clearer as time went on. It was strange. _He_ and Brother were so smart at things like numbers, and letters, and puzzles. But there were the important things _He_ didn't seem to remember or know.

Like food. _He_ was always forgetting _He_ needed to eat. Yes, _He_ fed them at mostly reliable times. But often _He_ would bring them food, and not eat _Himself_. Subject Two had thought maybe people didn't need to eat as often as things, but that hadn't seem right.

Brother knew to eat when he was hungry. Usually he knew to sleep when he was tired. _He_ didn't. _He'd_ be tired, but _He'd_ work and work until _He_ just fell on the desk. Sometimes _He_ spilled _His_ drink or hit _His_ head when _He_ did that. And then _He'd_ be angry when _He_ awoke. Subject Two thought maybe he should try picking _Him_ up when _He_ got tired but didn't want to sleep, but lifting _Him_ had proved impossible, and _He_ hadn't appreciated being touched.

So, it was necessary to watch over _Him_ while _He_ slept, same as Brother. And it was necessary to remind _Him_ about eating. And maybe get _Him_ to take a break with a nice puzzle when possible.

And remind _Him_ that you should do feel-better things when you got hurt. That was the most puzzling thing about _His_ inability to take care of _Himself._ Subject Two had seen healing. He'd felt the healing touch. Those days he and _Him_ went off for tests together and Brother stayed behind where he couldn't be hurt. Subject Two didn't like to admit it, but he sort of liked it when it was just the two of them. And he could run about or throw things without having to be constantly vigilant. Neither of them really like the cell, but sometimes it was good to know Brother was safely contained where he couldn't be harmed, and Subject Two could devote himself wholly to the task before him.

Sometimes during those tests, he got hurt. Little things like getting hit in the face with the ball, or running into a wall, or chipping a bone on a hard edge. He didn't cry because _He_ always said those weren't things worth crying over. He'd stand quietly with tears in his eyes while _He_ applied the necessary healing and made the pain go away. Subject Two always thought how wonderful and strong _He_ was in those moments.

But then the bad times had started. _He_ would go away, and come back damaged. But _He_ wouldn't do the glowing thing on _Himself._ And _He_ wouldn't show Subject Two how it was done. Subject Two was bewildered. Here was pain. He knew he could do something about it, if _He_ would only allow it. But _He'd_ grown more and more resistant to being touched as the days went on. It was as if _He_ didn't want to be made to feel better, but who wouldn't want pain alleviated?

Then the moment had come when _He'd_ needed them, and been too injured to push them away. The moment Subject Two had known down to his marrow what needed to be done. He hadn't needed teaching after all. Just necessity to unlock what lingered there.

Everything would be alright from now on, Subject Two thought in that moment. He could help _Him_ and Brother. He could protect them. Better still, _He_ said the Bad Place would not be a problem any longer. Everything was going to be good. Everything would be better.

And it seemed to be so. Hadn't _He_ been so much nicer after that? Like _He'd_ finally learned to make nice choices all the time instead of some of the time. _He_ still hadn't understood _He_ needed Subject Two with _Him_ always for protection and care, but they'd been working on that. Everything was getting better.

Except stupid Brother kept going on about what was the Bad Place and who'd been hurting _Him_. That was over, and they didn't need to worry about that anyway. It was his job to take care of _THEM_. Brother was wrong that the stranger-monster was hurting _Him_. Brother was wrong that the human was hurting _Him_. No one was capable of...

...But the way _He_ and Brother had acted in the human place. Like the human was dangerous. _He'd_ always said the human was dangerous, but Subject Two had been certain _He_ was wrong. The human was nice. They couldn't also be not nice. It wasn't possible.

Except... except _He'd_ been afraid. And Brother had been certain. Brother had wanted to protect them. He'd gone about the wrong way, like he had with Asgore. Why was he always threatening and making bones when that wasn't the way to protect someone at all? Protection required talking to both parties until they were friends. Wasn't that obvious? Brother could be so slow sometimes...

The human had been nice to them, and not-nice to _Him_. Why? It must have been a mistake. Or an accident. Had they pet _Him_ too hard? Or maybe _He_ had said some of _His_ mean things, and they'd gotten angry. Maybe they didn't know you weren't supposed to get angry at mean things. Maybe the human was confused about how to care about people. Maybe they needed a lesson.

Subject Two carefully untangled himself from his brother and slipped to the floor. If the human was confused, he had to explain things. He had to protect his family. And that meant he had to find the human.

*****

Gaster awoke to someone screaming and punching him in the arm. His first reaction was terror and blue magic, which he reined in just in time to keep Subject One from smashing into the ceiling.

Subject One landed unfazed and shoved a scrap of paper into Gaster's face. The scientist fumbled with his glasses, at last focusing on the words.

' _I'M GOING TO TELL THE HUMAN TO BE NICE._ '

Gaster was on his feet and running for the door the moment the words registered. "ASGORE!" He bawled, forgetting entirely to sign. "GET UP!"


	6. Me Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subject Two's impulsive actions leave his family coping with loss.

There wasn't a good way to divide up the search area. Subject Two could be anywhere in New Home or Hotland by now. Gaster had little confidence Subject Two had found his way back to the lab on his own, which gave him marginal hope. The disappearances had been limited to the lab. It was possible the human’s power was focused there. If Subject Two was lost, there was more hope of his recovery than if he'd been taken.

Gaster still rushed back to the lab as fast as Subject One's short legs could go. The search had to start somewhere. Asgore was checking the immediate vicinity around the castle. He could work gradually in this direction. Gaster would start at the other end.

"You'll have to look here while I search outside. I can cover more ground alone," he told Subject One as they reached the lab.

"i can't! i can't open the doors."

"...Right. Come this way."

In the workroom, Gaster quickly brought up the master controls for the lab. A little typing and then he grabbed Subject One by the wrist and flattened his right hand against a touchpad. A few seconds and... "There. Now you can open every door in the lab."

Subject One looked at his hand, momentarily distracted from the tragedy. "all of them?"

"Yes... now, whether or not you find him, stay here. I can't waste time hunting for both of you."

"yeah... yeah, okay." Tears formed in Subject One's eyes. 'he isn't really gone, right? we're gonna find him... and they wouldn't hurt him... right?"

"That's what we have to find out. Start looking. Go."

Subject One fled the room, calling at the top of his voice. "BROTHER! BROTHER, COME OUT!"

Gaster winced at the sound of heartbreak, and left in a hurry.

*****

It took a few tries to make the touchpads work. Subject One learned quickly that he had to hold still until all three lights lit up, and only the right hand worked. The part of his mind not absorbed with unbridled terror was a little thrilled at this new power. There were some fascinating things in the locked rooms. He'd have to remember to ask about that chair with the restraints and the weird lasery looking thing pointed at it once this was over and Brother was safely back where he belonged.

That small, functioning part of his mind also remembered the human had asked to examine their right hands upon their first meeting. Was this why? Did this power leave a mark? A way into some place secret in the lab? Was that why they’d hurt _Him_?

Mostly terror overwrote any ability to think. Brother... If... if he lost Brother... what did that make him? No Brother meant he wasn't a... a brother to anything. He was just... nothing... And... if he was nothing... was there a reason to be alive?

*****

It was hours before Gaster returned to the lab, soul sick and worn to the marrow. He'd scoured Hotland, asking everyone he saw if they'd seen a skeleton child. Consequences didn't matter anymore. Whether they believed him or not didn't matter anymore. Only one thing did... and that one thing eluded him.

"Subject One?" He called as he entered the lab. The silence led to a surge of panic. Had the smaller boy been taken as well? Had he stumbled into some of the more dangerous objects in the lab? Gaster kept the grinders locked up for reasons. If Subject One had gotten curious...

There was a mess in the hall outside the cell. Papers, toys, even the mattress had been flung out the doorway. Subject One lay on the sleeping ledge, curled in a ball, his back to the door. His body was tensed, implying he was conscious, but he didn't move as Gaster halted and stared at him.

A few comments flashed through Gaster's mind. But what was there to say? Obviously Subject Two had not been found. Obviously there was no false hope to deliver. There was no comfort to offer. He stared for a minute, then walked away.

He returned eventually, instant noodles in hand. He set the cup beside Subject One. "Asgore and I are going to search Waterfall. You'll remain here."

The boy didn't move.

"Sit up and eat."

It took a moment, but Subject One reluctantly rolled into an upright position. His eyes were pupilless and hooded. His permanent grin was narrowed to the smallest grimace. He reached for the cup, sipping the contents with lackluster motions. After a few gulps, he let his hand drop and made no attempt to eat any more.

Gaster turned away and went in search of the missing child.

*****

After a day spent in frantic searching, Gaster gave up the hunt. The boy was nowhere. He couldn't have gone far. Asgore and Gaster had ranged much further abroad than he could possibly have gone on his own. There was only one possibility. And nothing they could do.

Asgore spoke optimistically. The human hadn't harmed the children in the past. And they'd always returned their captives after a few hours. There was no reason to believe the pattern would change. Subject Two would come back. They just had to be patient.

Gaster and Subject One didn't respond to the try for hope. Subject One didn't respond to much of anything. He lay in the cell, not speaking, not moving. He ate only when pressured, and barely made an effort then. He didn't weep, didn't display any emotions. A dead lump of bones.

Gaster did as he always did. Work. Bury his mind, bury his feelings. So much to do. Calculations. Statistics. There had to be a solution. He had to find it. Work hard. Work harder. He was his work. It was all he was. He just had to... if he worked hard enough...

Asgore tried to pull them out. Make one slow down, make the other rise up.

"You have to take care of your son," he scolded Gaster.

"He's not my son."

"He's your son and he's hurting. Do something!"

"What?" Gaster didn't look up from the keyboard. "Tell him everything will be fine? That people who go away come back? That if they don't come back he'll learn to live without them?" His voice broke and he struggled to push down the pain. "Why lie? He's already learned the truth."

Asgore glared at the scientist who refused to look at him. "I'm taking him home with me."

"He won't stay."

"He will once I've talked to him. He just need some love."

Gaster listened as Asgore headed the cell and departed the lab with a sleeping bundle in his arms.

He kept an occasional eye on the monitor as he worked. Two hours later, a small figure limped back into cell, climbed onto the ledge, and curled back into his unmoving lump.

Gaster rose and went to the kitchen, making food neither of them would eat, delivering it to a body which didn't move. He studied the remaining child, feeling the helplessness of emotions.

He sat on the ground, his eyes sinking closed. Useless, the human had called him. How right they were. He was at the mercy of forces he couldn't understand, unable to reach or defend those dependent on him. How long before they took the other child? Or killed him? How long before this nightmare was over?

He awoke out of the light slumber, becoming aware of a weight pressed against him. He looked down.

Subject One had quit the bed. He was lying on the floor, his back against Gaster's leg.

Gaster leaned his head against the wall and settled in for a long night.

*****

One day. Two. Three.

Asgore was running out of ways to put a positive spin on the continued absence.

Gaster was running out of energy. Less work, more time staring at walls. It wasn't an improvement.

Only Subject One's behavior remained steady as he silently willed himself into a state of nonexistence.

It was evening on the third day. Gaster was headed for the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. Sleep didn't really happen anymore. He just drank the need away as much as possible. It was making a mess of his mind. At the moment he was having difficulty even finding the kitchen.

He rounded the corner, halting at the sight of movement before him. The figure swam unsteadily in his vision. The coffee mug dropped and shattered.

Subject Two stood before him, both hands gripping the edge of his scarf anxiously. "DON'T BE MAD! I DIDN'T MEAN TO PLAY HIDING GAMES! I JUST WANTED TO TALK BUT IT TOOK A REALLY LONG TIME AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"

Whatever else he meant to say was cut off as Gaster's knees buckled and he clutched the child to him. Subject Two gave gasp, then flung his arms around the scientist, clasping him fiercely in return of their first true embrace.

*****

"...AND THEY SAID THEY JUST WANTED TO PROTECT US - BROTHER AND ME - AND THEY THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HURT US, BUT I TOLD THEM YOU'D NEVER DO THAT. AND THEY SHOWED ME SOME PUZZLES, AND TOLD ME I WAS REALLY SMART, AND THAT I COULD STAY WITH THEM FOREVER. BUT I SAID I HAD TO GO BACK TO MY FAMILY. THEY DIDN'T WANT ME TO GO BECAUSE THEY SAID YOU MIGHT BE ANGRY, BUT I SAID THAT WAS OKAY BECAUSE WE WERE FAMILY SO YOU'D STOP BEING MAD EVENTUALLY. AND IT WAS OKAY IF YOU WERE MAD BECAUSE I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY HIDING GAMES, BUT I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING REALLY-REALLY BAD. YOU'RE NOT LIKE THAT. I TOLD THEM SO."

Subject Two sat at the kitchen table, gulping down hot pockets between telling the tale of his three-day imprisonment. That was how Gaster perceived it at least. Subject Two felt he'd had a lovely time, even if the human had given him nothing edible except candy.

Gaster had made a rapid examination of the child, assessing he was unharmed, albeit sugar-high. He'd brought him to the kitchen and fed him while he tried to question Subject Two regarding how he'd reached the human and what had happened. He'd given up questioning and just let the boy ramble, too sickened by what the child related to formulate responses. He didn't like the picture Subject Two painted. The human knew far too much about his future plans - redacted plans... but the intent had been there. Was that... had they been punishing him for a future which now wouldn't happen? How had they known? How had they taken him? How long before they destroyed them all?

"If you're done, you should go see your brother," he said at last.

Subject Two lunged from the table. "BROTHER! OH, BROTHER! I WANT TO SEE HIM! NOW! RIGHT NOW!"

"He probably feels the same. He's been... he needs you."

Subject Two ran down the hall, Gaster trailed wearily behind. He tried to keep up so he could hear the joyful reunion. He could imagine the shouts, the relief, the return to normal. He was in time to see Subject Two dash into the cell. "BROTHER! BROTHER, I'M BACK!"

Silence.

Gaster reached the door.

Subject Two stood near the cot, clutching his scarf and staring.

Subject One lay unmoving, his back to his brother.

"BROTHER?"

"you left me." The voice was a hollow and pained whisper.

Gaster backed out of sight.

"I HAD TO PROTECT YOU. I HAD TO TALK-"

"they coulda killed you."

"THEY DIDN'T. I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T. THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT."

"they hurt _him_. they liked hurtin' _him_."

"NO THEY DIDN'T. IT WAS A MISTAKE."

"and you went away like... like none of us mattered."

"YOU MATTER! THAT'S WHY I HAD TO GO! TO PROTECT YOU!"

"by leavin' me? you didn't even say goodbye... you just left."

"I CAME BACK." Subject Two sounded defensive.

"you didn't know you would."

"BUT I HAD TO GO. TO PROTECT YOU."

"you don't have to do that!" There was a scraping of bones as Subject One sat upright and turned on his brother. "no one asked you to do that. you're always goin' on about protectin' us. but you won't protect yourself. you coulda died."

"BUT I DIDN'T!"

"you coulda! and you don't care! you don't care and you don't think! and," Subject One was sobbing. "you don't care about anythin' except playin' like you're a hero!"

"I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! I HAVE TO BE STRONG BECAUSE OF YOUR CON-"

"shut up about my condition! i don't need you! i don't want you!"

Several sorry-looking and poorly flung bones thunked into the floor outside the cell as Subject Two fled sobbing into Gaster's reluctant arms. The scientist led the larger child away, put him to bed in the recovery room, and returned to the office.

How the hell was he supposed to deal with this?

*****

Asgore found Gaster at his computer, looking as if he'd been there all night. "Gaster! You can't go on this way. I know you're trying to find the boy, but you need to take a break."

"He came back last night." Gaster didn't look away from the computer.

Asgore staggered. "He did? Unharmed?"

"Unharmed." Gaster sounded distracted.

"But that's wonderful news!... why aren't you thrilled?"

Gaster pointed at the monitor.

Both children were in the cell. Subject One lay on the ledge, his head against the wall, his back to the world. Subject Two sat on the floor on the opposite side of the room, gazing miserably at his brother as tears ran down his skull.

"What's going on?"

"They had a fight."

"I thought... once he came back... that the little one would perk right up."

"He didn't."

"What have you done about this?"

Gaster shrugged. "What can I do?" He stared at his hands. "I'd probably just make it worse."

"Don't talk that way."

"Why not? It's not like I'm..." Gaster shuddered, then squared himself and typed faster. "...when are you taking them?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That was the plan, wasn't it? You get... kids... they get someone... better."

"Gaster..."

The scientist hunched over the keyboard. "I have work to do. Just... get them out of here. They're... distracting. Inconvenient. You know how to... deal with... emotions."

"It's yours I'm worried about."

"I... don't have... emotions. They're... unnecessary." Gaster tensed tighter and tighter as he spoke. "Just... take them away from here."

Asgore watched him for a minute more, then went to the cell. "Hello, little one. I'm glad to see you're back."

The crying child spoke to him in his cipher mumble.

Asgore squatted down and patted him on the head. "I think it's time you had a little exercise. Gaster thought you'd like to come home with me for a little while. Won't that be nice?'

The boy responded, but Asgore suspected he had no idea what was being said to him.

"Let me just get your brother." He went to the child on the cot and shook him gently. "Come along, little one. You'll be more comfortable sleeping in a real bed. Let's go." He settled the smaller child in his arms and held out his hand to the other. "That's it. Good. Let's go for a little walk."

He led them away.

*****

A change in location did nothing to improve the situation. Subject One lay on the bed where the king had set him and refused to respond to the world. Subject Two followed Asgore around, crying and trying to explain. Asgore thought it might be an opportunity to teach him standard speech, but the lessons didn't seem to stick and every failure made the boy more distressed. Asgore had no idea how to cope with the crying when such a language barrier was involved. Maybe a good night's rest would help?

...Or maybe Gaster had some ideas? Except he'd locked the lab and turned off his phone. Asgore tried recruiting Alphys to assist, but she wandered off in an unhelpful daze at the sight of the kids, muttering about needing to do some serious rewriting.

*****

"IF I SAY YOU WERE RIGHT, WILL YOU STOP HATING ME?"

Subject One sluggishly looked over his shoulder at his brother.

Subject Two hovered at the bedside, hands clinging to his scarf, tears in his eyes.

"...i..." Subject One sighed. "i don't hate you..."

"IF I SAY I SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE... IF I SAY... UM... THAT THE HUMAN WAS BAD..."

"you don't have to do that."

"I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD AT ME ANYMORE!" The boy broke down sobbing.

Subject One sat up. "you're gonna hurt yourself. i'm not mad, okay? i just..." He tucked his knees beneath his chin. "i don't think i can be without you... it hurt... like... like i wasn't me anymore..."

Subject Two crawled onto the bed. "BUT I KNEW I'D COME BACK. DIDN'T YOU KNOW? I WOULDN'T REALLY-REALLY LEAVE YOU. NOT FOREVER LEAVE YOU. NOT TURN TO DUST AND NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN LEAVE YOU. I WOULDN'T DO THAT."

"...but you coulda. and you don't get that." He studied his brother. "they hurt _him_. and _he's_ bigger than both of us. and if they could hurt _him_ , they could hurt you."

"THEY DIDN'T."

"they coulda. and then... what would I be without you?"

"STILL YOU."

"...but i'm your brother. that's what i am. if you go away... if you never come back... then i'm nobody." There were tears in his eyes. "you're the only thing important to me."

"AND _HIM_."

"i guess... but you're what's really important. and you left me... didn't even say goodbye."

"IF I SAID GOODBYE, YOU'D HAVE WANTED TO COME WITH ME. AND I HAD TO GO BY MYSELF. I HAD TO PROTECT YOU."

"but i don't want to be protected if it means i lose you. i want you!"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T LOSE ME. I'M RIGHT HERE." Subject Two faltered. "SO... WHY DO YOU HATE ME NOW?"

"cause you're just gonna keep doin' it! runnin' away to be a hero... and one time you might not come back." Subject One drew closer into himself. "and i'll be nobody."

"YOU'LL NEVER BE NOBODY! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BROTHER. THAT CAN'T CHANGE. EVEN IF WE DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER."

Subject One looked away. "why does it have to be you? you don't have to protect us."

"BUT I DO. AND..." Subject Two put a hand on his brother's foot. "AND I WANT TO. YOU'RE WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, TOO. YOU'RE THE ONLY THING. YOU AND _HIM_."

"...i just don't want to be alone."

"YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE, BROTHER." Subject Two took the smaller skeleton into his arms. "I'M ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE. ALWAYS."

*****

"Gaster... please pick up. Have you... remembered to charge your phone? Maybe the battery's dead? If you get this... please call me. I'm worried about you." Asgore glanced out his bedroom door toward the living room where he could hear the boys babbling at one another. "The boys are fine. They keep asking about you... I think. Please call me." He set down the phone and leaned wearily on his desk chair.

"when can we go home?"

Asgore jumped. The boys were standing in the doorway staring at him. They were an unnerving pair. He wished he knew what they were talking about most of the time. At least the smaller one had started making sense. "This is your home now, Little One. Didn't Gaster explain that he wanted you to live here?"

The children conferred with each other, then the smaller one spoke. "we thought _he_ would live here."

"That was my hope as well. But Gaster isn't... I can't reach him. I don't know if he's alright or not."

"BAD PLACE?" The larger child asked.

"No. No, nothing like that. I hope." Asgore tried to smile. "He probably just got caught up in work. That happens sometimes."

The children murmured together. The smaller one said, "we want to see."

"See him? Go back to the lab, you mean?" A nod confirmed the guess. "I'm sorry, little ones. But the door is locked. He's the only one who can get in." He patted them on the shoulders and forced a wider smile. "How about I make us something to eat? That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"WHAT DID HE SAY?" Subject Two asked when Asgore had gone.

"he said only _he_ can open the doors." Subject One was staring at his right hand. "and that _he_ wanted us to stay here."

"WELL... I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, RIGHT? NO HIDING GAME. WE JUST WAIT HERE UNTIL _HE_ COMES BACK." Subject Two hugged himself. "I DON'T LIKE IT. I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN _HE'S_ ALONE. IT'S BAD FOR _HIM_."

"...yeah... maybe we should go look for _him_."

"BUT _HE_ SAID TO STAY HERE. AND _HE_ SAID TO DO WHAT ASGORE SAID. AND ASGORE SAID TO STAY HERE. ANYWAY, THINGS CAN'T OPEN DOORS."

"...um... that's not true..."

*****

"CAN I HAVE THAT MAGIC TOO?" Subject Two asked as Subject One stood on his toes and planted his hand on the touchpad.

"i guess you could. if _he_ lets you. _he_ did somethin' with the computer and then i could open doors."

"DID IT HURT?"

"no. it didn't feel like anythin'." The door swished closed the moment they stepped through it.

The lab hall was dark.

"DO YOU..." Subject Two put a hand on his soul. "...DO YOU FEEL WEIRD?"

"yeah... like somethin's..." Subject One turned in a circle, staring at the walls. Everything seemed the same. But... "like somethin's wrong."

"YEAH. UM... I DON'T THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO COME HERE." Subject Two gripped his brother's hand. "WE SHOULD FIND _HIM_. I DON'T... I DON'T THINK IT'S SAFE HERE."

Subject One wasn't looking at him. His eyes were on the walls. His soul was flashing blue fire, but not as if _He_ had a grip on it. As if... as if they were about to be... "duck!"

The children flattened themselves against the ground as... something rushed over them. Twin souls flashed a warning, and suddenly the world turned to chaos.

"WeLcOmE tO mY sPeCiAl H E L L."


	7. Losing Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers dive into Gaster's broken mind to save a soul.

Had he been experimenting?

Had the human's interference worn down the boundaries of reality?

Was this what happened when a damaged soul lost its will to survive?

Their bodies were just where they'd been, but their souls were pulled into a war zone. A war within minds. Where reality bucked and twisted. Was anything possible here? Was nothing? Was there a way through the madness?

Shadows and pellets coming at them. Bullets?

Subject One threw up his defensive wall... and saw it cut down in an instant.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!"

A much bigger and far more unpolished wall rose in a ring around them.

"thanks, bro."

"WE HAVE TO FIND _HIM_! WHAT IF THESE THINGS HURT _HIM_?"

"...i think they might be _him_."

"HOW CAN THEY..."

Swirling faces. Images appearing in the darkness and disappearing just as fast.

"THEY CAN'T BE _HIM_. THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE _HIM_."

They ducked another onslaught, slogging their way further into madness.

"YOU SHOULD GO. YOU'LL BE HURT."

"i won't leave you."

Subject One's eyes glowed intensive blue. Something was happening to his sight. He saw the physical world of the lab, clear as he had seen it a hundred times. And he saw another world. Of floating heads and swirling magic. But there was something beneath that. Numbers? It meant something. Guidance. Information. "this way."

The tug of their souls pulled them onward. As they reached out, something reached back to them. Unwillingly? Unintentionally? A piece of themselves was within this madness. They would find it.

The bones rose a defensive shield around them as the brothers moved hand in hand through a half-real world. Subject Two didn't entirely see, or at least not as clearly, but he ducked, froze and ran at his brother's directions.

Reality bucked and fought them. Was something pushing them back? Then why did their souls tug them onward so desperately?

"stop." Subject One halted. "there's somethin' ahead... like a puzzle."

"I LOVE PUZZLES!"

"no... like the floor is... we can't walk on it."

"OH. THAT'S NO PROBLEM."

Subject Two loped forward on empty air, pulling his brother along behind him.

"bro?"

"WHAT?"

"...nothin'."

"ARE WE PAST IT?"

"um... yeah... yeah, we can go down now."

A door. Subject One put his hand on the touchpad. "it isn't workin'."

Goo and darkness and teeth closed around them. Subject Two warded it off. "TRY YOUR OTHER HAND! TRY BOTH HANDS!"

"it doesn't work that way. it... it's stuck!" He slammed his fist against the door. "we gotta get through. we gotta..."

"IF WE GO WAY AROUND, WE CAN USE THE OTHER DOOR."

"there's no time. and this stuff's everywhere. we need a..." What were the numbers telling him? What were they signaling? "...shortcut."

And they were through the door.

Neither wondered. There wasn't time. Bullets rained down on their fragile souls. Subject Two gave his all in simple certainty. The bullets COULD NOT slip through his defenses. He COULD NOT lose his brother. They had to find _Him_ , and for _Him_ to be found, they both had to survive.

Was this still the lab? It was hard to tell through the darkness. Unreality was growing stronger. Sometimes they saw glimpses of the lab beneath the overlay of shadows, but the swirling was become reality.

And there he was. Collapsed in a chair as they'd seen him a dozen times. That was one world. But in another, in that swirling kaleidoscope of colors and pain, there was a cage.

Not a cage... a fortress. Layer upon layer of bones and traps. So many layers that it pressed him to the ground, pinned him to this world of unreality. Trapped in a puzzle of his own making.

And there was the darkness closing in. Somehow the darkness seeped out of the cracks in the fortress and into the distance, then doubled back. It was consuming the light of the place, and slowly swallowing the cage from whence it had been birthed.

"WAKE UP!" Subject Two favored the direct approach as he left reality behind entirely and flung himself into the darkness of a broken mind. "YOU'RE TRAPPED! WAKE UP AND GET OUT!"

Subject One hung back, assessing the dream world unsteadily. The numbers were starting to hurt his vision. They were trying to show him something important. Positive and negative signs, and a history of... of damage? ...Pain. The numbers meant pain. Caused by _Him_? Done to _Him_? Both?

But Subject Two wasn't waiting. He seized the nearest bone and yanked. He screamed and recoiled.

"bro!" Subject One surged into the dream.

"I... I'M OKAY.” Subject Two stared at his hands. "IT DIDN'T HURT. IT WAS GOING TO... BUT THEN IT DIDN'T." He turned back to the fortress, resolute and certain. " _HE'S_ NOT GOING TO HURT US. NOT EVER. WE HAVE TO GET TO _HIM_."

Subject One stared at the warped world. " _he's_ doin' a whole lot of hurtin' out here to anybody."

"MAYBE _HE_ DOESN'T MEAN TO. MAYBE _HE_ DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE OUTSIDE. COME ON." The larger child peeled aside the bones.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" The words screamed themselves into actual bullets as they shot from the fortress. In this place, every word had weight and impact.

The children flattened themselves against the ground, but Subject Two was back up and clawing at the gap as soon as the words had passed by.

"Don't..." But the words were sobs now, no longer carrying

more than fragmented weight.

"WE HAVE TO! TO SAVE YOU! WE HAVE TO GET YOU OUT!"

"You don't know... I don't deserve..."

Reality fragmented further. Three souls combined. They were one soul after all. Three souls pulsing in rhythm in the nothingness. And they saw the past.

_"...when are you taking them?"_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"That was the plan, wasn't it? You get... kids... they get someone... better."_

And deeper.

_"Why did you call me here?"_

_"To take them."_

_"Take them?"_

_"Take them away from here. Give them a home..."_

" _HE_ DIDN'T WANT US ANYMORE?"

"no..." Subject One was wriggling deeper into the memories. "...no, that's why _he_ was sad. isn't it?" He addressed the darkness. "you didn't want us goin' away... but you wanted to send us away. how come?"

"...You don't understand..."

Memories swirled and flickered. They reached for them as they crawled deeper into the fortress. The darkness formed tentacles and snatched at them, but it shied away from causing actual pain and they shook off the restraints. The memories wavered out of reach, then slammed down on them in a rush of horror.

_"I made children! To torture. To destroy. To use against the barrier."_

They faltered.

"WHAT'S TORTURE?"

And the memories showed them. His intentions. His plans.

But they were fragmented, broken images. And even as this cascade of horror fell down on them, there were sweeter memories. Real memories.

"OH, LOOK! THERE WE ARE IN THE BATHTUB."

He tried to pull back, tried to focus on the intended pain, but somehow the children took control.

Clothes, rain capes, smiles, color cubes, cooking, numbers, puzzles. They flooded the three conjoined memories.

"...You don't understand."

"you were gonna hurt us. like the human said..."

"BUT YOU DIDN'T."

"you can't." Subject One thrust a bold hand into the bone cage. The action should have been fatal. But the bones recoiled and dissolved. "somethin' changed."

"YOU DIDN'T AND YOU WON'T. YOU'RE NOT LIKE THAT.” Subject Two reached for the memories, awakening even more. He had a way of finding kindness in the smallest action. And through his rose-colored vision, they all saw a world filled with kindness. Every healing, every puzzle, every act of mercy. He magnified them. Both of them. He made them better.

"i'm not that nice."

"YOU ARE. YOU'RE ALWAYS NICE TO ME. I KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT ME ALWAYS. BOTH OF YOU." He turned to the darkness. "YOU MADE US. THAT MEANS YOU WANTED US."

It wasn't intended that he should show them the memory. But they were too close in this place. His pain was too raw. He was cutting into his hands again. He was screaming. He was...

...being healed.

How were they in his memories? How was he sitting at the laser, gasping and feeling utterly wretched, and they were there? Their hands on his damaged ones. Waves of green healing. Touching into the past. Soothing this moment of their creation.

And teasing out the truth of that moment.

_"Um, I just wanted to say that, uh... that there are p-people who, care about you, uh, a lot..."_

"they seem nice."

"THEY WANTED TO HELP YOU. HOW COME YOU'RE WALKING AWAY?"

The bone fortress closed tighter. "Leave this place!"

The brothers exchanged glances, and plunged back into the melee.

_"Look at your poor hands. They look worse every time I see them."_

"YOU'RE LUCKY. YOU HAVE LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU."

"You shouldn't. You don't know..."

"so show us."

He didn't mean to. He was losing control.

_"It worked, I did it! I did it! They're alive! You're alive..."_

Green fire. Not their own. A rush of joy, and then a redoubling of the barriers.

"No... no I can't... I can't feel..."

"was it cause of me?"

The defenses faltered.

Subject One was holding a memory. His first unsteady steps outside the tube. Tumbling into anxious arms. And then being pushed away. Blue magic. Distance. And when they saw one another again, one was hostile, the other distant.

"you said not to get attached..." The boy drew inward, his own defenses rising. "like when brother came back... and i didn't want to be hurt anymore... so i pushed him away. is it cause of... how i am? cause i'm a mistake?"

"YOU'RE NOT A MISTAKE!"

They both said it. The sudden rush of care which made defenses crumbled. Both of theirs. A hurting child. His child. He couldn't deny the flood of emotion and desire to sooth. To protect.

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"DID I? IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT GOOD AT THE TESTS? IS THAT WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT US ANYMORE?"

"No... I..." He tried to push away. To deny. To forget.

Another layer.

_"You're giving up your immortality."_

_"...Yes, that will be part of it. But Asgore and I have thought long and hard about doing this, and that includes the cost. This is something we both truly want and we feel..."_

They were beside him again. Running with him. Sitting beside him as he collapsed and wept.

"that monster with asgore. they're in the pictures in his books."

"Toriel... his wife."

"WHERE ARE THEY?"

"She went away."

"is that what happens? people go away?"

"...yes."

Another memory. The garden. The king and queen clutching two dying children to them. A flare of dust...

"IS THAT WHAT DYING LOOKS LIKE?"

"Yes."

"SOMEONE HURT THAT MONSTER? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?"

"...Yes..."

"AND HE TURNED TO DUST AND THEY NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN?" Subject Two was sobbing. "THOSE POOR MONSTERS! THEY MUST BE SO SAD!" He ran into the memory, grasping to hold and embrace the weeping king and queen.

But memories had changed. Another day. A declaration of war.

_"They'll pay for what they've done. We'll take their souls. We'll collect enough. We'll break the barrier. We'll retake the surface. We will destroy them!"_

Subject Two shrank back. "I THOUGHT HE WAS NICE."

"He is."

"THAT'S NOT-NICE TALK. THAT'S BAD CHOICES TALK."

"The humans killed his child."

"ALL OF THE HUMANS?"

"...No."

"THEN WHY DOES HE WANT TO KILL ALL OF THEM? MAYBE SOME OF THE HUMANS ARE NICE. MAYBE WE JUST NEED TO TALK TO THEM."

"You don't understand. They started the war. They killed..." The defenses redoubled, pushing the children away, severing himself from the pain.

Subject One clutched his soul. "somethin's wrong." He grimaced. "somethin' hurts."

"DID YOU GET HIT?"

"no... _he's_ doin' somethin'... don't you feel it?"

"...YEAH." Subject Two put a hand to his chest, then strengthened his grip on his brother's hand and pulled him deeper.

 _"Stop crying. Don't act like a baby."_ In the memory, he was snapping at a weeping Subject Two. Subject One had his arms around his brother, glaring and rattling at him.

And the memories came in an onslaught. All the times he'd pushed them away.

_"Don't touch me."_

_"No more questions."_

_"Back to your cell. Now. Go!"_

Beyond it was a distant voice whispering. "See? I didn't care about you. I didn't want you. Leave me."

"YOU'RE WRONG!"

Subject Two stood defiant against the onslaught. "YOU DO CARE. YOU JUST ACT LIKE YOU DON'T." And he countered the memories.

The frantic healing of Subject One when he fell off the desk. The relieved hug Subject Two had received upon returning from the human. And that first time the human had taken and returned them. The desperate relief on his face.

"MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT. OR SHOW IT. BUT YOU DO IT."

"you made us." Subject One wove his way deeper, probing for vulnerable places in the defenses. "we know how to care. doesn't that mean you do?"

"No... everything good in me went into you two... there's nothing left anyone should care about."

Words descended on them. Barriers made of words.

_"Have you ever done the right thing in your life?"_

_"All you've ever done is make people miserable."_

_"Your work is useless."_

And this time there was context. To their horror, they witnessed the human beating him. Abusing him with word and fist. Making the all-powerful figure in lives weak and cowering.

"NO!"

Twin voices screamed it. Twin walls of bones. Twin shields.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT WEAK! YOU'RE GOOD! YOUR SCIENCE IS GOOD!"

"you've done lots of good things."

"How would you know?"

"cause all those monsters cared about you. didn't seem like they thought you were useless."

"MAYBE YOU MADE BAD CHOICES SOMETIMES. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ALL BAD CHOICES, DOES IT? ASGORE ISN'T ALL BAD CHOICES."

"Don't compare him to me! He's nothing like me. He's... he has so much caring. So much love..."

"and he kills humans."

"You don't understand. He had to. He didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice. I had... I had to protect him."

And it was there creation again. Those fragments of bones. Being used. Made. Grown. A shattered soul. Determination.

"you made us cause... so he wouldn't be hurt?"

"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"YOU WANTED US TO DO SOMETHING THAT WAS GOING TO HURT US, SO ASGORE WOULDN'T BE HURT?"

The voice beneath the bones didn't answer.

The children pressed onward to the sound of sobs.

"You shouldn't help me. Not after what I intended. Not after what I've done."

"BUT YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND."

"what did you do that was so bad? why do you keep sayin' that?"

And they fell into the center.

What they'd expected to find was their creator and captor. A figure they loved and feared in turn. But what was in the center of his mind... was a skeleton not much older or larger than themselves. Grey striped shirt. Red scarf. Oversized coat. Bloodstained. Shaking. Terrified.

Subject Two reached out. "SHH. YOU'RE SAFE NOW."

"bro... i don't think we are."

They were on a battlefield. Had there been light and life here once? Now there was only darkness and dust. Blood and bones. Fallen bodies. Shattered weapons.

And they were falling deeper into time. When the battle was still raging. Skeletons fighting humans. Skeletons falling. Skeletons dying. And one figure terrified and alone. Weaponless. Helpless.

And further back. Skeletons preparing for war. Armor. Spears. Magic.

And one tiny figure crying for peace. Why were they fighting? Why was this happening? Why?

_"You should have died with your family."_

The words struck them all. They felt the judgment down to their souls. It resonated there. Took root. Became their identity. Their shame.

"NO!"

The direct approach. The bulldozer of resolve and determination. "NO, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!"

"It is. If I'd fought... I could have done something."

"NO YOU COULDN'T! HUMANS ARE A MILLION-MILLION TIMES STRONGER! YOU SAID SO. YOU WOULD HAVE DIED TOO." Subject Two looked out at the battlefield. "AND THEN WE WOULDN'T BE HERE."

"You don't understand. Their dust is on my hands just as if I'd killed them. By not fighting..."

"you didn't want me to fight the human in the bad place."

"Of course not. You couldn't have survived."

Subject One studied him, puzzled and serious. "if they’d hurt you then... if you and brother had died... wouldn't it have been my fault?"

"No." The child had transformed back into the prickly scientist, arms crossed in irritated lecturer pose. "Your magic output is drastically inferior to a human's abilities. You would have been struck down without providing significant damage to your opponent or protection to either of us. Your death would have served no purpose save to raise their LV, and even that wouldn't have been high enough to be worth mentioning."

"but... isn't that the same thing?"

"Of course not. This is completely different."

"how?"

There was a wavering of forms, and the scared child was back. "It just is!"

Subject One stared out at the broken bones and dust of the battlefield. "when brother went away... i wanted it to be me that had died."

"BROTHER!"

"i did! i didn't want to be alive if you weren't! i wanted to have gone with you. it would have been easier to be dead too."

"BUT I WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED THAT." Subject Two had his arms around the smaller skeleton. "I WOULD WANT YOU TO BE ALIVE. EVEN IF I WASN'T." He turned to the shaking child. "I BET YOUR BROTHERS WOULD BE HAPPY YOU WERE STILL ALIVE."

"...They'd be happier if they were still alive."

"BUT THEY CHOSE TO FIGHT. THEY PICKED THAT. THE HUMANS MADE THEM PICK THAT. THE HUMANS STARTED THE WAR. YOU CAN'T BE MAD AT YOU FOR SOMETHING THEY DID. IT ISN'T FAIR."

"It is... it's my fault... it's all my fault..."

"WHY? YOU DIDN'T START THE WAR. THEY DID."

Subject One slipped out of his brother's embrace and walked to the edge of the battlefield. He stared out at the sea of dust. "why did they fight back? why didn't they just run away?"

"To protect the kingdom. To defend everyone against the humans."

"...so they knew they'd die? they knew humans were stronger... but they fought so other monsters could run away?"

He hunched tighter into himself, not answering the questions.

"so... they wanted somebody to live." Subject One turned back. "brother's right. they'd be happy you're still alive. i'd be happy if i knew me dyin' would save brother... but it was real hard the other way. thinkin' he was gone and i was still here. thinkin' it should have been me... that's what you feel, isn't it?"

He still didn't answer.

They sat on either side of him. Three children alone in the silence of a battle past.

"ARE SKELETONS AND THINGS THE SAME THING?" Subject Two opted for a change of subject as he puzzled over these images of skeletons long-gone.

He sighed. "...Not exactly."

"SO, ARE WE SKELETONS OR NOT?"

"You are... and you're unique. Nothing like you has ever existed. Or ever will again."

"ARE YOU UNIQUE TOO?"

"No." He looked away. "The best parts of me went into you."

"but it's still part of you."

"How do you know?"

"we're here, aren't we? we figured out how to find you. and... we're feelin' what you're doin'." Subject One looked up at him. "you're gettin' rid of yourself somehow, right? back where we're real."

He bowed his head. "It's better that way. You'll move on. Forget me. Asgore... Asgore's better with children than I am."

"WE'RE NOT CHILDREN. WE'RE SKELETONS."

"Children just means you're young."

"SO WE'RE CHILDREN AND SKELETONS AND THINGS?" Subject Two frowned. "DOES HE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THAT? HE'S FUZZY, NOT BONY."

"He'll figure it out."

"but he won't have to."

"Why?" His tone was sarcastic. "Are you going to convince me to find the will to live?"

"no... but we won't be alive."

They stared at him.

Subject One's gaze was steady. "we're pieces of you. we saw it. you made us out of you. if you die, we die too."

"That... shouldn't happen."

"oh, yeah?"

Subject One pulled back his shirt. His soul slid out of his chest, hovering on his cupped hand. It wasn't a large or sturdy looking soul on any occasion, but today it looked worse. A piece of it was faded and partially dissolved - as if it was turning to dust.

He stared. "...god..."

"you keep talkin' like you don't wanna hurt us anymore, but you're gonna. we're all goin' away, and your brothers out there..." He looked at the battlefield, then back at his creator. "...we'll be just like them. do you think they'd want there to be no more skeletons?"

 _"You should have died with your family."_ The words whispered on the wind.

"WE'RE YOUR FAMILY NOW."

"guess you're gonna get your wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a lot of direct quotes from the comics, and references to quite a few more. You can find the whole list in the notes [here](https://www.deviantart.com/dacelin/art/To-The-Marrow-1-7-Losing-Yourself-770835554) if you're curious.


	8. Here We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster and the brothers recover from their descent into his memories.

It had been days. Asgore had given up pounding on the lab door. Alphys had tried to hack her way in, but she confessed that the door locks had been cut off from the power source and her technology wouldn't help. Asgore had hammered with fire and trident, balefully admitting at last that Gaster had planned for assault. Another door between him and a loved one. Asgore tried not to break down again.

He'd stopped jumping when his phone rang, stopped leaping hopefully at a knock at the door. He sat, melancholy and alone. Why... why did he keep losing his family?

He barely moved when the phone rang. After the fifth ring, he reluctantly lifted it. "...Hello?"

"Can you come to the lab, your majesty?"

"Gaster?" Asgore surged to his paws. "You're alive?!"

"Apparently."

"How... I mean... are you alright?"

"... It's best you come to the lab."

"I'll be there right away. I'm leaving right now." Asgore was already charging out of the house. "Are the children safe?"

"...I'll see you soon, Sire."

_Click._

Asgore ran.

*****

His pounding on the door was answered by an unexpected and cheerful face.

"HI! SEE? I OPEN DOORS NOW! AND TALK!"

Asgore stumbled back a step, staring and trying to regain his senses. He'd been prepared to embrace and berate his royal scientist. He'd not expected to first encounter the proudly grinning larger child. "H-hello, Little One. It's very good to see you again."

"HE SAYS IT'S PA-PY-RUS NOW. HE SAYS MONSTERS WILL CALL ME THAT SO I SHOULD CALL ME THAT. HE FOUND THESE... UM... SOUND THINGS...?"

"Tapes?" Asgore suggested wildly.

"YEAH! I LEARN TALK."

"That's wonderful news. Where's... ah... where's your brother?"

The boy contemplated this question, struggling to find appropriate words. "SWIMMING," he said at last. He trotted down the hall.

Asgore followed, more than a little dazed. But the boy seemed fine. He could only assume the larger... Papyrus, would be more distressed if something was wrong.

The boy led the way, ducking through a doorway at last. He turned back to Asgore with a grin and pointed at a tank. "SWIMMING."

The other child hung inert in a vat of blue liquid. Wires extended from his soul and skull out of the tank to a workstation. His eyes were closed and he drifted in a limp manner.

Asgore let out an alarmed gasp. "What happened?"

"SOUL... UM..." Papyrus hunted through his vocabulary. "SICK," he said, which did nothing to reassure Asgore.

"Soul sick? What caused this?"

"A close encounter with nonexistence," said a voice behind him.

Asgore turned to find Gaster leaning against the doorway, looking weary and ill. "Gaster..." He started toward the scientist.

"Careful, your majesty." Gaster put up a restraining hand. "We're all still feeling the effects."

Asgore hugged him anyway - gently. "You look terrible."

"This is an improvement, actually." Gaster glared in the direction of the oblivious Papyrus. "He recovered immediately."

"But what happened? Is the little one well?"

"He's improving. He woke up yesterday. A few more hours and it should be safe to remove him from the tube." Gaster went to the workstation, checking the steadily beeping vitals. "That's why I called... I don't think... this may not be the best... recovery location."

"No, of course not. He'll come home. All of you will." Asgore waited, expecting resistance.

Gaster nodded absently, apparently absorbed with the vital stats.

Asgore came up beside him. "What happened to you? To them?"

Gaster glanced at Papyrus and shuddered. "Let's go... elsewhere." He started from the room and the boy immediately trotted after him. "No. Stay here. Watch your... brother."

Leaving Papyrus with his eye sockets trained on the tube, the two monsters headed into the kitchen. Gaster looked vaguely around. "...Do you want tea?"

"I'll take care of it." Asgore filled a pot of water, one eye on Gaster, who sat slumped at the table. The king said nothing until he'd joined Gaster at the table. "Now... perhaps you'll tell me what happened. Do you know how long you've been out of touch? Did the human attack you again?"

"No... the human's left us alone. Maybe they can't reach us anymore... or they've lost interest..." The doctor leaned forward, his head in his hands. "This was all my doing."

"What did you do?"

"I thought... maybe it would be better for everyone... if I didn't exist."

"Gaster!"

The skeleton's eye was empty and ill. "...If everyone just forgot me... if I'd never existed at all."

"That's not possible."

"...I made it possible."

"How... that's not important. Why?"

"After everything I've... it seemed the kinder choice. For everyone. For them."

"But you changed your mind?"

"...Circumstances required reassessment."

"What do you mean?"

Gaster's eyes sank closed. His head bowed low.

* * *

"guess you're gonna get your wish."

Gaster, both the scientist he was now, and the child he'd been, stared at the fading soul. "Put that away."

"why? not like anythin' can hurt us here. 'cept you."

"Just... just don't do that. It's... not a safe habit."

Subject One looked like he had a few more comments in mind, but the soul vanished.

"MINE'S MISSING PARTS TOO." Subject Two had his head beneath his shirt. He un-turtled and gave Gaster an anxious look. "IS YOURS MISSING TOO? DO WE NEED TO GO LOOK FOR THEM?"

"No... we wouldn't find anything."

"BUT WE COULD TRY. MAYBE THEY'RE OUT THERE WITH YOUR BROTHERS' SOULS." The boy surged to his feet and trotted into the battlefield.

"Come back! There's nothing out there!"

"YES THERE IS. THERE'S LOTS OF SOULS. ARE THEY OURS?"

Gaster rose and started after the child. Dust billowed around him as he entered the killing field. He gasped and clutched his chest.

"those are all skeletons? all of them?"

Subject One had come up beside him. He was staring upward. Gaster followed his gaze.

The dust was coalescing into pale gray monster souls. Hundreds of souls swirling in twilight.

"THOSE ARE ALL YOUR BROTHERS? ALL OF THEM? YOU HAD BIG-BIG-BIG FAMILY."

Gaster stared wordlessly, barely aware of the children at his side.

The souls drifted around the three living skeletons, revolving nearly within reach in a great current of lives.

Gaster sank to his knees, the tears pouring freely. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. It should have been... should have been me. I wasn't... s-strong enough. I s-should have saved you..."

A soul paused in its rotation and hovered before him. In a sweeping flight, it shot through his chest and out the other side.

Gaster gasped and clutched his chest against this attack, but there was no pain. Only feelings. No condemnation. No scorn. Just... love.

It hurt more than hatred. He collapsed to his hands and knees as soul after soul passed through him and away into the emptiness of the sky. Not one blamed him. Not one despaired that he'd lived. They gave him a singular joy - a skeleton had lived. They were not forgotten. Because of him.

*****

He awoke back in the lab. Back in his real body - what was left of it. Above him hung the extraction machine, its power leaching away his life, his memories, his existence. The human had told him this was his fate - to be nothing. To be forgotten. From their murmurings and prophecies, an image had surfaced in his mind. A way to make their predictions his reality. He'd found the secret to erase himself. It was all he deserved. It was what they deserved. To be rid of him and his failings forever.

But now... he tore the cables from his soul and struggled to find the will to survive. If not for his own sake...

They lay collapsed on the floor, still adrift in his broken mind. He hadn't meant to draw them in. He'd tried to push them out. But they wouldn't go. They'd held fast to his fading soul, risking their own to awaken him and call him back to life. Now...

"Wake up, Subject Two. This is all just a dream."

The larger boy stirred at the hand on his arm. He blinked weakly up at his creator. "DID WE FIND YOU?"

"Yes... you risked a great deal to find me."

"WE HAD TO. CAUSE... LOVE."

"Where did you learn that word?"

"YOUR BROTHERS FELT IT AT ME."

"...Let's focus on the practical right now. Help me with Subject One."

Gaster and Subject Two were bad off. Subject Two's legs shook beneath him as he tried to rise and fell back. Gaster pulled him upright. They leaned against one another, barely clinging to reality. Subject One was even worse. Still unconscious, barely breathing, looking emaciated even for a skeleton. He appeared little long for the world.

"CAN I HEAL HIM?"

"He needs something else. Help me get him to the tube."

It was a long and slow slog. Either should have been able to lift the small child effortlessly, but neither had the energy to do more than drag the little skeleton jointly between them. But saving him meant reaching the tube. And not saving one of their numbers was not an option.

It was only after Subject One was floating blissfully in the stasis fluid, that either were willing to focus on their own needs. They devoured the marshmallows in Gaster's desk, then made their way to the kitchen where they consumed what could be eaten uncooked, and collapsed on the floor, exhausted and shaking.

"WHY ARE WE RUBBERY?"

"We've been going without food for a long time."

"HOW LONG WERE WE IN YOUR HEAD-DREAM?"

"...Long." Gaster sighed.

"DID YOU MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN?"

"You two were supposed to wake up and leave a long time ago."

The boy looked stubborn. "WE CAME TO GET YOU. WE DON'T GO WITHOUT YOU." He yawned. "IS BROTHER OKAY?"

Gaster rubbed his eyes sockets. "Yes."

"ARE YOU SURE?"

"Yes. He'll recover. It might take some time. You'll have to be patient."

"I CAN BE PATIENTEST PATIENT IF HE'S REALLY-REALLY-REALLY OKAY."

"I'll look after Subject One. Just concentrate on making yourself better."

"OKAY. BUT WILL YOU CONS'TRATE ON YOU-BETTER TOO?"

Gaster sat up. "Yes... yes... for now we both need some proper sleep."

He'd meant for Subject Two to go to the cell, but as he dropped onto the recovery room bed, he felt someone clamber up beside him. He couldn't find the energy to push aside the child, who wrapped his arms around him.

"...don't... touch..." he mumbled weakly without moving.

"I love you," the boy whispered, then both were deep asleep.

* * *

Gaster opened his eyes. Asgore was still staring at him and waiting for an answer. He struggled. "The kids are... made from me... there wasn't a way to... eliminate me without harming them. So... here we are."

He didn't know how he ended up in Asgore's arms, but he didn't resist the tight embrace.

"Never try that again," the king demanded. "Too many monsters care about you. I care about you. Don't..." His voice grew thick. "I've lost too much already. Don't..."

"I won't, your majesty."

"You're coming home with me. No discussion. All three of you. You're staying there… forever. At least until I can trust you to look after yourself. I don't want to hear any protests out of you."

"...I want my own room."

*****

He was a child standing on what had been the field of carnage. The dust and bones were swept away. Night had fallen. Stars and shadows made this place strangely beautiful.

He felt rather than heard them come up behind him. "Will you be intruding on my dreams continuously?"

"dreamin' together's kinda fun... so, maybe."

"WE DIDN'T INTRUDE. YOU CALLED US. UNLESS THAT'S WHAT INTRUDE MEANS."

"nope."

He sighed. He supposed he had called them. Even in here, within his memories, it helped not to be alone.

"are those stars?"

"Yes."

"IS THIS OUTSIDE-OUTSIDE? LIKE OUTSIDE PAST OUTSIDE WHERE WE ARE NOW?"

"This is beyond the barrier, yes."

"YOU USED TO LIVE WAY OUTSIDE?"

"When I was young, yes."

"I WANT TO SEE! I WANT TO SEE WHERE YOU LIVED! WHERE'S YOUR INSIDE? WHERE'S YOUR CELL?"

He rubbed his eye sockets. Reeducating them was going to be an uphill climb. "I'm not sure where it is from here."

"it's your dream. can't you just go where you want?"

"...I suppose." He started walking.

Two hands slipped into his. He didn't pull away.

They stood on a village street. Time rippled as his memories made the village what it had been. Monsters - mostly skeletons - roamed the street for business and pleasure. A skeleton pulled a cart of produce past them. Another lugged a load of kindling. A chicken squawked and tried to take flight.

A bell clanged. Children spilled out of a school building, laughing and running together. "Let's go to the creek! Let's play!"

Most of the crowd dashed off in mass.

A boy in a red scarf slunk out of school, his books clutched to his chest. He glanced warily back, not seeing the bigger children approaching on his blind side.

Their timing was practically rehearsed. One swatted the books from his hands, the other pushed hard from behind. He pitched straight into the inevitable mud puddle.

"Hey!"

"What's that, nerd? Can't even talk right," one jeered.

The boy clawed frantically through the mud.

"Looking for these?" The other scooped up a pair of glasses.

"Give them back!"

"Oops. Clumsy." The child dropped the glasses and smashed their foot down on them.

"leave him alone!"

"THAT'S NOT NICE!"

And, somehow, once again, they were shoving their way into his memories. Little Sans tackled the formidable skeleton youth with fury in his eyes. Papyrus pulled Gaster out of the mud, and yelled at his brother. "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG AGAIN! ASK HIM NICELY. MAYBE HE DROPPED THEM ON ACCIDENT." He turned to the other child, his expression confused. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT? MONSTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE."

But they didn't answer. They couldn't. It wasn't part of the memory. They departed laughing as they had that day long before. But this time, two friendly children were fishing Gaster's books out of the mud, and brushing off his clothes, and wanting to know what that was all about.

"They don't like me," his younger self explained. "They're always picking on me."

"why?"

He hunched in on himself. "I'm not good at... saying the right thing... and I'm smarter than them. So, they make fun of how I talk... and my eye. But... it doesn't matter. I-it... it's not important..."

He was outside the memory again, panting with the fury and repressed tears of that moment. Then he was home.

"Mom? I... My glasses broke."

"How did it happen this time?"

"These kids pushed me down, a-and my books f-fell in the mud. A-and..."

"Are you crying?"

"N-n-no."

"What did I say about crying?"

"It makes people uncomfortable, and I sh-sh-shouldn't do it in f-front of them."

"Correct. Don't make your emotions someone else's problems."

"Okay." He hung his head.

"Go get cleaned up and don't come back until you're properly under control."

"Okay." He slunk away, trying hard not to cry.

There were arms around him. "YOU CAN CRY. WE WON'T TELL."

He pulled away. "No! Y-you're not supposed to cry in front of people. I-it means you're weak."

"THAT'S NOT RIGHT. IT CAN'T BE RIGHT."

"I-it's what... what Mom and Dad always say."

"what's mom and dad? what fonts are those?"

"Moms and Dads are... um... they're the people who make you... who... teach you how you're supposed to be. Like... like telling you you're not supposed to show emotions. It's wrong."

"is this wrong?" Sans' eyes turned blue.

"N-no... I don't know. They try not to do that."

"YOU SAID SKELETONS WERE SUPPOSED TO GLOW. YOU SAID THEY NEED TO GLOW."

"...um..."

"how come you never glow? what color are you?"

He hunched into himself. "I don't... if I did... it would mean I felt things."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH FEELING THINGS?"

"...It's better not to."

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NICEY PARTS?"

"c'mon. what color are you? let's see. just for a minute?"

"YEAH! GLOW WITH US!" The larger boy's eyes flared an effortless orange.

He turned away. "I don't think I can. I don't remember... I try not to."

"not like anyone can see and tell on you here. it's just a dream, remember? c'mon."

They'd taken his hands, these children with their eager and intense glows. The sensation of emotion and well-being swept over him. Could he? Dared he? Could he even ignite his eyes anymore? He hadn't since...

...since he'd given them life.

Somehow they were in both memories at once. This childhood moment in his room, trying not to cry, and that glorious day in which his creations had begun to stir.

" _I did it! They're alive! You're alive..._ "

And the warmth swept up from his soul.

"YOU'RE DOING IT!"

"yellow. kind of like brother's."

"SEE? YOU CAN GLOW! YOU SHOULD DO IT MORE. EVEN IF IT'S JUST WHEN WE CAN SEE. WE WON'T TELL IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO."

"you like keepin' secrets. we can keep your secrets."

He drifted out of memories, out of awareness. He hung in blissful darkness, but the glow remained.

*****

"DID IT WORK? IS HE STILL DOING IT?"

"yeah... yeah he is."

The boys crowded at Gaster's bedside, studying his closed eyes critically. They'd awoken, glowing in tandem, souls pulsing in unity, and hastened at once to the doctor's side. He's not awoken when they'd left his dream, but to their delight, he was still glowing faintly yellow, and there was a peaceful look about him.

They crept out of the room and into the dark hall. They glanced about, gesturing elaborately for silence.

The stairs seemed like a good direction to travel. Two flights down and into a deserted hallway. They sat at the bottom.

"ARE ALL SKELETONS MEAN LIKE THAT?"

"you're not."

"NEITHER ARE YOU. BUT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE THINGS TOO."

"...some of the other skeletons seemed nice. i think... maybe... maybe you're right. they were being mean, but maybe they weren't all the way mean." Sans tilted his head and reflected on the things he'd seen. "or maybe there's just somethin' about _him_ that makes people want to hit _him_."

"I DON'T!"

"you don't want to hit anybody ever."

"DO YOU?"

"...sometimes... yeah... when _he's_ mean to you... or when someone's mean to _him_."

"...I DON'T GET THAT. I DON'T GET HOW YOU CAN FEEL LIKE THAT."

"i don't get how you don't. doesn't it make you mad when things aren't fair?"

Papyrus considered. "IT MAKES ME SAD. IT MAKES ME WANT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER."

Sans sighed. "i wish i was more like you."

"I CAN HELP YOU. I CAN TEACH YOU TO BE GOODER AND GOODLY."

"... kay... and _him_ too. _he_ needs help sometimes."

" _HE_ NEEDS OUR HELPS LOTS OF TIMES. AND _HE_ KNOWS IT NOW."

"does _he_?"

"SURE! _HE_ ASKED US FOR HELP TONIGHT WHEN _HE_ WAS ALONE IN _HIS_ SAD PLACE. WE'LL KEEP HELPING, AND WE'LL MAKE _HIM_ HAPPIER AND BETTER."

Sans smiled. It was hard not to embrace his brother's absolute confidence in the world. "asgore will help too, i think. i guess we live here now."

Papyrus nodded. "HE'S OUR FAMILY TOO." He tilted his head. "UM... WHAT _HE_ SAID... ABOUT MOMS AND DADS BEING THE MONSTERS WHO MAKE AND TEACH YOU? DOES THAT MAKE _HIM_ OUR MOM OR DAD?"

"i guess... i dunno which one. what's the difference?"

"UM... _HE_ SAID MOM FIRST, SO THAT'S THE ONE THAT MAKES US AND DAD IS THE ONE WHO TEACHES?"

" _he_ does both."

"BUT _HE_ CAME FIRST. SO _HE'S_ OUR MOM? AND ASGORE CAN BE OUR DAD?"

"he hasn't taught us much."

"BUT HE MIGHT. IT SEEMS LIKE HE WANTS TO. HE TRIED TO TEACH US TALKING. AND WE NEED A FAMILY WORD FOR HIM. SO THEY'RE OUR MOM AND DAD." He bounced eagerly. "WE SHOULD CALL THEM THAT. THEY'LL BE HAPPY WE FIGURED IT OUT... UM... HOW DO YOU SAY IT THE OTHER WAY? THE WAY ASGORE UNDERSTANDS?"

Pronunciation took a few minutes to achieve, and sleep was weighing on them. They curled up together at the base of the stairs.

"BROTHER?" Papyrus whispered just as Sans was nearly asleep. "IS IT GOOD NOW? IS IT GOOD FOREVER NOW?"

"is what good forever?"

"EVERYTHING! LIVING AND BEING AND LIFE AND STUFF? IS IT GOING TO BE GOOD FOREVER?"

"i dunno... but it's good _he's_ happy... and the beams are gone... and the human went away... and... *yawn*... and you're happy. that's what really... matters..."

"BROTHER?" Papyrus poked him, and sighed. "YOU'RE SO LAZY."

They fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for Part 1. I've moved these from being short stories into chapters, which I should have done ages ago. Thanks everyone who commented on them as short stories and sorry if your comments got lost. I read and appreciated all of them! I will be posting part 2 shortly, and deleting the short-story version soon after.


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